1 Tato, 2 Tato, 3 Tato, and More

Leaving Wednesday!

2009-07-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

We are leaving Wednesday on the trip of a lifetime. We are almost ready! We still have some packing to do. :)

I just started a travel journal and we hope to be able to post to it in China. Blogger is generally blocked so I can't use this site.

Please keep us in your prayers for safety, health and an easy transition for the new one. And probably pray for the bigger kids too, their lives will be a bit mixed up for a bit in transition.

Thanks!

Sick Kids & Finalized Travel Plans

2009-07-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

Well, the kids came down with fevers yesterday. And it's been downhill ever since. I was up most of the night doing laundry. And that's a good thing because we had a house showing. Goodness! The timing of things in my life are just insane. Ideally we would love the house to sell ASAP, but having it for sale while we are gone is better than when we are home. I won't have to constantly clean it. :)

We got our inside China travel plans yesterday. So here's our tentative schedule:
July 21st - We will stay at a hotel in St. Louis because our flight is at 6:30 am, the airport is an hour away and we have to leave the house perfectly clean. And we can park for free. :)
July 22 - The longest trip I have ever been on begins at 6:30am.
July 23 - We arrive in Bejing at 2:50. We will stay in the Kuntai Royal Hotel.
July 24 & 25 - Tour Great Wall, Forbidden City, Summer Palace and watch an acrobat show.
July 26 - Lama Temple, Beihei Park & Hutong (I have no idea what these places are)
July 27th - Travel to Taiyuan, only an hour flight and check into the Shanxi Grand Hotel.
July 28th - We meet Xia Yan!
July 29th - Complete adoption finalization and notarization processes at the Civil Affairs offices.
July 30th - Tours to be scheduled and picking up notarized paperwork and Xia Yan's passport.
July 31st - Travel to Guangzhou a 2.5 hour flight. Most likely Xia Yan's first flight ever. Check into the White Swan hotel.
Aug 1 - Xia Yan's Visa Picture and Medical Exam
Aug 2 - Optional touring
Aug 3 - Optional Touring and pick up Xia Yan's Medical Exam Report
Aug 4 - Our Agency Coordinator will work on Xia Yan's Visa. Maybe do some shopping. :)
Aug 5 - Our oath at the Consulate and receive Xia Yan's Visa.
Aug 6 - Leave Guangzhou at 9am for Beijing and following flights

So we really need the kids to get better ASAP. And nobody else can get sick. :)

Update with an Update

2009-07-09T14:18:00.000-07:00

Goodness what a wild ride!

So, I don't know how to explain this as it is unexplainable. I kept emailing USCIS about this issue, finally the lady wrote that we don't need DCFS approval. She said they had Xia Yan's information and all they needed was the homestudy. She requested it be sent to her attention and she would take care of it right away. So that's what happened and we got Xia Yan's Visa cabled today.

Nobody knows how DCFS has Xia Yan's info. It wasn't in the homestudy and that was the issue, more specifically the approval for a special needs child. And nobody knows how USCIS knows that DCFS knows. Our Social Worker said it was completely unexplainable. Another God Thing in our adoption journey.

I spent most of yesterday working with the travel agent and in the same batch of emails with the Visa approval information we got our eTickets. So we will work on our in-Country travel next including hotel reservations. We looked at all our travel options and going out of Newark was the best for our family and the best price. Dave's best friend Clint is coming with us and he is in Seattle, so he has to travel the day before, stay in a hotel in Newark, and do the same on the way home. What a sport! Better than the 6 hour layover he would have had (midnight to 6am) in Houston. :)

So we are good to go on our trip. It is just such an amazing experience.

I also got some updated information on Xia Yan. I hired ladybugsNlove to make a call and ask her foster parents 10 questions. Here are a few snippets:

How does she fall asleep at night, and where does she sleep?

What time does she go to bed at night and when does she wake up? Does she take a nap during the day? When?

She sleeps with her foster parents. She goes to bed around 10:00pm and gets up around 7:00-8:00am. Summer time, it’s hot, so they go to bed late and get up later than winter time. She take a bottle before going to bed. She takes a nap at 1:00pm until 3:00pm or 4:00pm.

Does she have a nickname?

They call her Xiao Yan Zi (little swallow bird). Her foster sister’s name is also Yan. So they call her Little Yan.

Tell me about her likes/dislikes/sensitivities?

She likes to go play with other children. There are many children where they live.

What is her personality like? What makes her happy?

She is outgoing. When she firt came to the foster family, for half a month she never smiled. She won’t talk, won’t play, won’t smile. She’s been with them for over 5 months now. She is fairly extroverted now.

What makes her upset? How do you soothe her?

She seldom gets upset. She gets upset when she doesn’ t see her foster mom. She is easy to soothe, just pick her up and she will be fine.

Does she use the toilet or is she wearing diapers?

She goes potty in the yard daytime (split pants), and wears diaper at night. Daytime she will go herself.

So making a bottle of formula will be new for me. And not quite sure where I will take the split pants - pottying in the yard bit.

Happy Anniversary & Sad Day

2009-07-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago today we married. What a blessing my husband is. My live has been full and blessed since that day.

Our new SW got word that they won't look at the old homestudy where it gives clear indication we are approved appropriately. So she has typed a new homestudy. She visited our home today. And Dave is currently working on financials. We really need DCFS to move us to the top of the pile and issue our approval ASAP. If this doesn't happen our trip could be moved back a couple months. My heart is heavy. I just want to get her right now and can't. I just can't believe we are having such troubles.

Our old SW is out or something. No returned calls or emails. We hope she has a special connection or something and get get our correct Visa issued.

The Drama Continues

2009-07-03T19:45:00.000-07:00

On Thursday morning our agency got word back from the American Consulate that our homestudy wasn't written correctly and the correct Visa to bring a special needs child into the country wasn't issued. I worked with our Coordinator to put the special needs approval in the homestudy and it is in the "Child Desired" section, but not the "Final Approval" section at the end. So the special needs Visa wasn't issued. The Social Worker that wrote it has emailed USCIS. She says it should be fine and she has never had an issue with her homestudies. I wrote a specific person at USCIS because, not-so-thankfully I have dealt with issues in the recent past. To add to the drama our homestudy agency closed 7/1 so the Social Worker that wrote it is closing up shop. Our new Social Worker is coming on Monday and said she would email the USCIS to encourage them to send the Visa and look into how she could quickly get the right information to them if she needed to. In IL we need DCFS approval on homestudies, so I REALLY hope we wouldn't need that. Now 36 hours later and I don't have any answers.

Also on Thursday morning we got our itinerary, but we can't buy all those tickets without the right Visa. We would be stuck in China, well Xia Yan would be stuck in China. She would be ours as far as China would be concerned, but not yet able to come to America. That can't happen!

We got our Visas today and we are ready to go. Please send a prayer up that we get this Visa!!!

On the other exciting wild ride of life we are on. I had a test to see if I needed urgent surgery and it seems I don't. So I can do that later, like even a year from now.

We had a showing for the house scheduled, but it got cancelled. They want to reschedule next week.

Dave had a work BBQ yesterday so that was fun. Today Dave had off as well and rented a Uhaul and put a bunch of our storage room stuff in a storage unit to make it look roomier. Tomorrow we are still planning, but we are considering going to a hotdog restaurant then seeing Ice Age, then BBQ some burgers. :)

The kids and I ran to Target today. I wanted to get a lil netbook for our trip since they are on sale on their website. They just had 2 to chose from, and none in stock. So I had them call around and nobody had them in stock. We picked out a pool/slide/sprinkler full of fun and some other small trip things. I got to the register and didn't have my wallet. I had it by the computer for online shopping. So back home, and back to the store with the 3 kids. Fun!

TA!

2009-06-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

Aren't they cute?

We got our Travel Approval today. Our tentative Dates are July 22-Aug 6th. Tonight (tomorrow morning in China) our Consulate Appointments are being scheduled. Then we will be booking our tickets and hotels and all that. Yippppeeeee!

Dave also has a Squadron Commander in Tampa (MacDill AFB) that wants him to fly for her. They have Gulfstream 5's which I guess is a hot plane. It has winglets - wow-eee-wow! He is really excited at the possibility, but doesn't think it is likely. So I will pray because there's nothing more important then my husband being happy. And Tampa can't be bad can it...as long as hurricanes are coming our way I guess.

So once our plans are more secure Dave should get out of his deployment and we will find out where we are going. Sarah asked about that...We were supposed to move June-Sept, then he got tagged for the deployment. It was drama because our agency was guessing we would travel in Nov, at that time of course. So now things are all good. :) Dave has a person to take his place and he is all fine and dandy with that.

Our house is for sale and we have the first "looker" tomorrow.

Please keep me in your prayers with some issues I have had for the last nearly 11 months. I have to have a test tomorrow to see if it is something requiring urgent surgery. I don't have time for that. :) Plus, what would 5 more weeks matter? We shall see.

I didn't find out about the possible monitoring in our room from RQ. I asked people that are military and have adopted from China. RQ is the one that got me worked up with the possibility of having my kids quarantined or hospitalized without me. I just am perturbed that people just put stuff out there and don't look further into it. We have a 0.0004% of having one of us hospitalized. It's probaby higher here in Southern IL. But the medical care is better here, and they won't not allow me to see my kids. So there is a risk. Adoption is a risk overall, so I can't be fearful, I just have to trust.

So all is good. When I called Dave today I learned that if I squeal in his cell phone it deletes the message. It took me 4 tries to get the message in there. Asher thought it was time to go today. :)

What's New?

2009-06-25T13:55:00.000-07:00

Well, goodness we are busy. We are currently waiting for our Travel Approval (TA). Once we get that we can make our travel plans. So we are doing everything we can think of now, in preparation of leaving.

We did have some short lived drama with thinking through our decision to bring the kids. There is a travel alert now. But once we read this article, we knew it was OK.

Today I got money orders for our Visas. Well, everything I do has to have extra drama. I ran to the Post Office to mail Xia Yan a card with stickers inside. :) Then to the bank. I had to ask for quite a bit of cash in brand new $100 bills. The lady's eyes popped out. That was fun! Then I asked for the money order. Well, they only do cashiers checks. She said the store and the post office does money orders. I was JUST at the post office! So we (Amanda and 3 youngin's) walked across 2 black asphalt parking lots in near 100 degree heat into the store. I asked for a money order and she began preparing it. I got out my checkbook and she says, "You will need cash." So back across 2 scorching parking lots to the bank. I get the money and back again over 2 scorching parking lots. Phew! I got the goods and once Dave returns tonight and fills his app out we will get those sent off to the courier.

I have spent the day getting last minute dental appts in. I would hate for any toothaches to haunt us in China. I also called my doc and got an all purpose antibiotics for me, and have to bring the kids in tomorrow to get weighed for their prescriptions. My doctor is really excited about the adoption and was nervous she wouldn't be in when we got home for Xia Yan to get checked out. But she most likely will as she leaves tomorrow for 20 days.

I am researching little netbooks so I can blog while in China. I am trying to find a good deal, but I have a feeling I will just have to run to either Walmart or Target and just pick one. I really need it and need to figure out how to get pics and video onto it. BTW, for those nonadopting friends of mine, I will have to be very cautious what I write as everything will be monitored. China has 35,000 people employed monitoring emails, blogs, skypes and phone calls domestically. And I have learned some extra precautions need to be made because Dave is military. We will have to watch what we say in private conversations, even in our room. Spooooooo-keeeeee!!! I hope they are entertained. If they are reading this already, I say, "Ni Hao, I can't wait to visit!" We've got nothing to hide, so whatever needs to be done that will be fine.

We hired a real estate agent as well. Ideally we would like to sell in the next couple weeks and move before our trip. But actually we could leave in a couple weeks. So much of this process is a growth experience for me. All these unknowns are just too big to worry about.

Phew! Thinking through all this makes me tired.

New Photos AGAIN!

2009-06-17T07:46:00.000-07:00

I just got new photos! She was sick on her birthday so they celebrated yesterday. Thankfully she is feeling better. Can you believe that spread!?!?! Goodness. Her birthday cake says "Happy Birthday to Little Swallow". Xia Yan means Summer Swallow. She has a 14 yr old foster sister and 21 yr old foster brother.

Last night after putting the kids to bed we opened our LOA envelope. I have seen pictures of it so I thought a quick signature and off we go on our merry way. Oh, how niave! Shouldn't I have guessed more paperwork. So I have been working on the Visa Application process. I have been just so worked up the last couple days. I couldn't fall asleep last night. I even got out of bed to check if we checked the morning delivery option for the LOA going back to our adoption agency. So more to work through, and working, working, working, and Pop! surprise Xia Yan photos. She looks great! It made me cry of course. It's kind of like some hormonal problems with all these highs and lows. I guess I am kind of in labor. HA!

It's on it's way & Potty Training

2009-06-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

Well, we've been on a high at our house today. We received our LOA!!! So she is officially ours now. China has said yes! So we will get it tomorrow and sign it and send it back. Then we wait for Travel Approval and the whole visa process. We are guessing we will travel in August! The same month the 3 kiddos were born. Oh God, is too funny!!!

Friday we started potty training Asher. He was deathly afraid of the potty. The first time I had him sit on it he cried for 10 minutes, while we were doing a full-body hug. It was heartbreaking. Then he pottied (is that a word?) 4 times!!! We were busy over the weekend, but started again today. He now tells me when he has to go. He is so proud of himself, as he should be, and I am even more proud of the transformation he has gone through.

Xia

2009-06-10T13:35:00.000-07:00

Did anyone look at the videos that China Care had on their website? The one entitled "Xia" is missing from my computer and it is just making me sick. Can you please do a computer search and see if you have that file?

I have contacted China Care and they just organized with another organization so things are a bit crazy for them. I wrote once asking for it and they sent me some basic "We can't share information, please contact your agency." email. Well, they had the file and it was public and I want it! My agency doesn't have it.

So if you could PLEASE check. I really, really need that file!!!

Zach is 9 months old & Still waiting on LOA.

2009-06-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

I just got Zach's 9 month pictures done this morning. Isn't he handsome. He is so different looking than Josie and Asher with his blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. He looks just like Dave though.

Today is our 70th day waiting for our LOA. Sweet Xia Yan turns 2 tomorrow. I hope she likes the cake and presents we sent. We didn't mail the cake, we arranged for it. :)

Dave turned 40 last Tuesday. :)

Just what I needed:

2009-05-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

I found this blog by Patty. I love this Addams Family song.

Remember the theme song? Buh buh da dum snap snap, buh buh da dum, snap snap...............you know, the finger snapping theme song? The Addams Family.

Well as the days go on, and the crazier we get, it can only mean one thing.

Mom has to write a song about it. So now that you have the tune in your head............keep it going and enjoy my version. The Adoptive Family.

They're happy and they're goofy
Some people say they're spooky
Adoption makes them kooky
The adoptive family.

(don't forget to add in the buh buh da dum snap snap part)

The mom has got grey hair now
She thinks she's gonna swear now
She's eating like a cow now
The adoptive family.

The dad is goin' crazy
Wants to get his girl today'zeeee
Tired of waitin' for LOA'zeeee
The adoptive family.

The kids are gettin' loopy
Think the wait is rather poopy
Want their sister in their groupy
The adoptive family.

We all know God's in charge here
So because of that we won't fear
Just hurry it up already cuz we can't stand it any longer, no really, we're going nuts, crazy, whacko.........but none of that rhymes with here or fear so just make up your own last line......
The adoptive family.

Buh buh da dum snap snap. Buh buh da dum snap snap. Buh buh da dum, buh buh da dum, buh buh da dum snap snap.

You all better hope that LOA comes soon.

A rough morning

2009-05-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

For some reason I am down about not receiving our LOA yet. Others with the same dates as us have gotten their's in the last week. I don't even want to leave the house because I might miss "The Call". I've turned nuerotic or something. Maybe Jealous?

I emailed the family I showed the house to a week ago. They were so ga-ga over it. She replied saying they are pursuing a house that better suited them.

And I just am so beat up with Zach being a bad nurser. Pretty crazy that I am so tired that him chewing on me all night doesn't matter. I can't react since I need sleep so badly. Time to night wean him, and possibly wean him off the breast.

I'm such a Debbie Downer today. I think I need to go for a walk with the kids and walk out some of this stress.

A Different Perspective

2009-05-21T13:04:00.001-07:00

A Different Perspective

Hanky required. For anyone considering adoption, please read this article.

November 01,2006 / Cynthia Hockman-Chupp

Imagine for a moment....

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by soul mate, for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the worldthe person who will be with you for the rest of your life. The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face. But it's not him! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man?

Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back. . .even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay. But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him? Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact. Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it. More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried. The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you. You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy. The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to get along. You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair. Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black. You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness. Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

How would each of us handle all these changes?

How would this impact us for the rest of our lives?

Strong Like Bull

2009-05-16T20:56:00.001-07:00

I saw this shirt and just had to get it for Asher. It reminded me of my dad. Whenever things get tough we say, "Strong Like Bull". I had no idea it was something that someone else said or even heard of. I attributed it to our Indian background, with a strength to keep treading onwards. Hope you like it Grandpa Coffee.

Giving Birth & Adoption

2009-05-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

I just visited a blog that has this quote at the top:

"Giving Birth is an act of Nature, Adoption is an act of God" - unknown

Well, I just don't know what to think about that. OK, that's a lie. When do I not have an opinion? God is the Creator of life and that means in my womb, or a birthmother's womb. It is a life He has a purpose for from conception. And since I have carried 3 lives and birthed them all, believe me it is a miracle they get in there and a miracle they get out of there. God has had His hand on the "process" from before conception. And it is the same with adoption. To an extent I kind of feel like the process is even more out of my hands since I know approximately when a baby will be born, but with adoption I have no clue if it will ever happen. I always knew when I hit 24 weeks that the life would be viable outside the womb so I always waited for that timeframe. Then I waited for the 36 weeks mark to know that the baby was full term. But birthing is a bit scary. I always yearn for that first scream. With the adoption I have no clue what month it will be. I am actually praying that she won't scream when we meet her. How I would love to hear "Mama". Truly both ways to add to your family are an act of God.

Zach the Big Cutie!

2009-05-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

40 Inspiring Speeches

2009-05-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

If you need to be inspired today.

Hoping for our LOA

2009-04-30T10:40:00.001-07:00

Dave is gone this week and comes home tomorrow. When the Shared List came out and I found Xia Yan, subsequently putting in our Letter of Intent (LOI) for her, Dave was gone. We committed to her without Dave seeing her medicals or photo. Then we got our Pre-Approval 10 days later and Dave was gone then. So since he has been gone I was hoping some type of Murphy's Law was working and we would get it this week. I am losing faith for today, but maybe tomorrow.

Please be in prayer over our adoption and so many others as well. China is not giving out any Travel Approvals until the Swine Flu is contained. I would hate for this crazy flu to keep us from our girl.

I have pulled together a care package for Xia Yan and I have some room left so I have to figure out something else for her. We have also applied for the kiddos passports. Yep, we are bringin' them. It will be a trip to get our daughter and their sister and not a leisure trip.

Hopefully tomorrow I can post that we got our Letter of Acceptance (LOA).

New Info on Xia Yan

2009-04-23T05:40:00.000-07:00

I woke up to an email that had a wee bit of info on Xia Yan. I asked an email group if it was the cultural norm for babies in Shanxi to cosleep with their foster parents. I got a response asking if the Xia Yan I have in my email signature was a baby she met while volunteering with China Care. She said Xia Yan is cosleeping with her foster parents. Yeah!!! So I went to China Care's website and found videos of her (click on Xia and Xia 2)! I just can't believe it!!!

If anyone knows how to download the video in some sort of permanent way, please leave me a note. I NEED those videos.

Also, I got sent to a shutterfly Xia Yan photo album of 147 pictures from birth until last month. That is really priceless. I ordered them all already.

St. Louis Tea Party

2009-04-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

New Photos!

2009-04-14T17:07:00.001-07:00

I had to make these pictures large because she is absolutely gorgeous.

I keep imagining what it will be like to meet her. I wonder if it will be the same or different than giving birth. With birth there are concerns with the baby transitioning to the outside world. With adoption there are concerns with the transition to a new family in a new land with a new language, new food, new family. I pray God blesses us all with an easy transition for her.

We just dropped my mom off at the airport. We had too much fun. I will make some slide shows of our trips to the zoo, Easter fun, and the St. Louis City Museum. We also bought Xia Yan some gifts for a care package we hope to send to her.

Today we shipped off our homestudy updates to our Social Worker, to our agency, along with a PA agreement and PA fee. It felt good to do something to move the process along. We also got our fingerprint appts.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-13T21:24:00.000-07:00

Cutie Update - HUGE PRAISE!!!

2009-04-10T11:52:00.001-07:00

So I emailed our agency and asked if she could get an update about XiaYan's health. The Pediatric Cardiologist suggested I ask if she has been hospitalized for her breathing. If so we would want to arrange for oxygen and a nebulizer for the flight. This is the message I got:
"The Orphanage said she doesn't have any breathing problems."

Well, without going into the details of her need, the breathing problems was the sign of the health issue. So does she have any known issues? I so badly want to go get her now!!!

I pray every night for instant, complete healing for her. Maybe God did just that. :)

She gained a couple lbs and inches. Little brother is bigger, but he's a brute.

Still Celebrating!!!

2009-04-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

We are still celebrating. I just had to put her photo on this post too so I can see her when I open this. :)

I forgot to write what we will call her. We will name her Emmalia Katherine XiaYan Hughes. Emma was my mom's Grandma and her 2 aunts on both sides. Great Grandma Emma actually named a daughter of hers Emma. One of my mom's mom's middle names was Amelia, so we are incorporating that. And we love the name Emmalia. Katherine was my mom's other Grandma's name. We will call her XiaYan until she is formally ours, then slowly transition to calling her Emma-Kate. Or "Emma-Cakes" as Josie and Asher say. So we started calling Josie "JoJo-Pie". We need a good dessert name for Asher so if you have a suggestion leave it in the comments.

We have been very nervous because it was the day after sending in our Letter of Intent that we were told we weren't moving June-Sept as we have been told for 6 months, and Dave would be sent to Iraq in Nov. We had been told it was taking 7 months for the process. So that was just bad. Since we got our PA quickly, pretty much a month early, that moves our estimate to mid-October. Yippppeeeeee!!!

Grandma Cookie comes tonight (oh good dessert name). So Asher is getting a haircut, then we have to set up her bed. And the fridge broke again so we will need to forego the trip to Honey Baked Ham and move all the food to the garage fridge. Never a dull momment.

Drum Roll Please....

2009-04-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

Introducing Miss XiaYan!!!! Isn't she beautiful? Of course she is!!!

China granted us Pre-Approval today. Whoo-hooo!!! It has take on average 4-5 weeks. It took us a week and a half.

Xia means "Summer" and Yan means "Swallow (the bird)". I have had 1 person say Xia is pronounced "See-ah". She loves playing outside and playing with other kids. Good thing right?

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west." Isaiah 43:5

Fun Easter Plans

2009-04-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

Time to go shopping for clothes. :) Josie is such a funny girl.

Dave left for OK this morning. I forgot to ask why he was going there. He has been going on these little trips so often. He is back on Friday night. Tomorrow night my mom comes and will stay through Tuesday. So it will be fun to have Easter with Grandma Cookie. Josie wants to get her bed all set up today. She wanted to call her yesterday and I told her we had to wait until she got home from work. And already today she has wanted to call her.

We have a lot planned. We are making hairbows. We will decorate eggs. We will paint our nails and toes. We hope to go to the zoo. It is supposed to rain nearly everyday she is here. We do have a surprise for Cookie, but I can't talk about that here. I know she reads. I thought she was the only one. I will get pictures though and post them.

So back to the secret. I am not physically pregnant as my test yesterday showed. So I don't know if I can say that I am "expecting", in that type of traditional, typical way in which people are often "expecting". We did start our China adoption nearly 2 years ago so I guess with all the paperwork we have done the adoption community calls it "paper pregnant". This is turning into jibberish. HA!!!

It is just killing me!!!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!! 10 days of torture so far. I am an open book. What do they expect of me? I can't tell?!?!! I don't know how much longer. I would think in less than 2 weeks I could share.

OK, I am loved...

2009-04-07T13:43:00.001-07:00

I just had no idea that anyone read this.

We are awaiting an approval before we can give a full announcement.

Other news...Hmmm... I just got back from the docs because I had the titres taken to check my vaccinations. The R of my MMR didn't take so I had to get that entire shot again. They asked if it was possible that I was pregnant. Well, of course it would be possible, technically speaking of course. I didn't think I was. So a little test and it took FOREVER to get the results. So I started freaking out inside. Of course it would be a blessing as every child is. But Dave is leaving! So that would be bad timing. And since I have birthed 3 kids the Air Force probably thinks I can pop one out without any help at all and wouldn't need him. And our secret is a big factor in this of course.

Can I give out any other clues and have you not guess? Hmmm.....

Oh, I just read what I wrote and never finished the story. :) The test was negative and now I have a sore arm. I better get used to it because I will have to get some more shots in the next couple months.

We are in the process of our homestudy update and we just got notified that our homestudy agency is closing. It is such sad times in the adoption community. It just makes me think that more kids aren't going to be placed into homes where they can heal and flourish.

The homestudy update and renewal of our I600 is way more involved than I thought but I got through it. I am waiting for our Social Worker to make some changes to our homestudy update then we can get DCFS approval (again), and then mail it into CIS and wait for our new fingerprint appts. They have to be sure we haven't committed any federal crimes in the last year of course. And we hope this is all done by the end of June when our I171h expires.

Oh, I just looked back at past postings and there are some major details that I can share that I haven't. The day after we, oh can't tell, well....Dave was told he was not being moved this summer, but next summer and they are sending him to Iraq in Nov. So that is really bad timing from what I hear from, oh, you know, the secret people. So this has been stressful thinking about this fall and how things are going to happen. We know God is in control of it all. We are really disappointed that we aren't moving as we have been looking forward to it for 6 months. But we are thankful that we are in a location that has a great Children's Hospital nearby. We may go there. ;) But there is a complication in that Dave needs to be flying for 36 months to pay the Air Force back for the training he is going to go through and he retires in March of '13, so he can't be in Iraq until May and follow that rule. So we hope that can get him out of it. And there is a special code for people like us who have a secret expected.

I better stop. :) I'll move on to a funny story.

Last night Asher started sneezing uncontrollably. I asked him if he was OK. He said something was stuck up his nose. He kept sticking his finger up there, probably pushing it up further. Dave tried to get it out and said it was red. Then he called for me. I held his arms down and D tried to get it out with a prong of my hair pick. That made me nervous so I suggested a bulb syringe. That didn't work. So off they went to the ER. Four hours later they got it out. I had that wire garland up at Valentines with shiney red hearts on it. The kids kept pulling them off and I have been vacuuming them up. I thought they were gone. Guess I missed one.

Hmmm...

2009-04-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

I was wondering today if anyone ever checks my blog. Does anyone read this? Do I waste my time?

We are going to have a big announcement soon. So let me know if I should post it or not. Just leave a note in the comments to let me know someone reads this.

So we have secret big news that you might have read if you are my facebook friend. I was told I can tell friends and family. Write a comment and I can email you with the news. So, if you claim me as a friend, I can tell you.

But there are some super cute pictures I can share with the world in a couple weeks. So check back here and let me know you read this.

The only other update I have is Dave was told he will be sent to Iraq again in Nov. That is really bad news due to our secret surprise and the guesstimated timeframes I have been given. We will move to England after that. There are some complications that may cancel this all out. Ideally I would like to move in the next 3-4 months, then take a little trip related to our secret surprise.

Stay tuned...And let me know if I should keep the blog or not.

The No News Update

2009-03-25T17:47:00.001-07:00

Still no news. The girl I tried to pursue got locked. I was having her files reviewed and then she was gone. Lesson learned...Lock the file while getting it reviewed.

So we have everything in for a Special Needs adoption. We are on the waiting list and we were moved to the middle because we have been waiting 14 months already.

Dave is away in LA until tomorrow night. So crazy stuff is going on. I thought I would share a photoshoot Josie did this evening.

We are being TORTURED!!!

2009-03-12T18:08:00.001-07:00

So, no news yet on the move. It is just crazy.

We put the house on the market. No news on that either.

I found out that the Rainbow Twins are being referred on the nonspecial needs route and are in the matching room now. They will go to a childless couple. Uhhhh.......

And yesterday I found a lil girl that had a family looking over her file. There were 4 people in line to also see her file. I added our name to the list, and she was locked in before the end of the day.

So, now I found another little girl that is very young. She has no file listed. They have her special needs listed but that's it. She isn't even a year old and from the little blurb it seems her needs have been fixed. So I emailed the Coordinator, but it was like 6:00pm so I probably will hear tomorrow. My luck this all means she is already locked in by somebody else.

I talked with the Coordinator yesterday. It is taking 7 months to get a special needs child home. So if we move it is supposed to be June 1-Sept 30th and it would work out fine. Dave will have 60 days of refresher training beforehand so that was our concern. And if he has to be somewhere June 1, he would have to leave right away which would be bad.

Anyways, it seems like we are being tortured. But, you know me...it's all OK. I have this feeling like a bunch of good stuff is going to happen soon. No matter where we go it will be great. And no matter what baby we bring home it will be great. I have this overwhelming sense of understanding God's hand is on all of this. But I get a little miffed when Dave calls "just to say hi". He is sweet, but I obviously think he is calling with the big news every time I see his number on the caller ID.

We have been spending a lot of time getting things cleaned, organized and thrown away in preparation for the big sale. We did spend Saturday at The Science Center and met Sue the T. Rex. Asher is totally into dinosaurs and he loved it.

Josie said something funny today during school, "Mommy, how can you read without talking."

Zach mostly says, "Mamamamamama". He loves to be held and is currently sleeping upon my chest.

I am also spreading the word on a great website I found: http://parentingfreedom.com/ It sums up a lot of the parenting choices we have made. I have read through most of it. The only thing that we don't do is we do vaccinate. I think we may spread them out more down the line, but with a trip to China coming up we need vaccinations. Also if Dave does get sent to England, we will all need to be current. I have read a bit about what is in them, and having substances from aborted fetuses really bothers me. I just can't imagine not having our family together, so 4 more years of Air Force life, and 2 more adoptions then we can make educated choices and determine what we need and what we don't. But, I do know many friends in the adoption community bringing home kids with Hep B and not telling their friends and family. So to be vaccinated is important. I will decide later. :) But I love Parenting Freedom's explanation of why spanking isn't biblical, homeschooling, staying at home, cry it out, sharing sleep, babywearing, and obviously attachment parenting. It is all related in my head. I think it is all natural and obvious.

Bathroom Ettiquette 101

2009-03-07T17:44:00.001-08:00

Alright ladies, I have been bothered with recent bathroom ettiquette. So listen up!!!!

At the YMCA, it is fine that you are VERY modest and want to change in the bathroom stall. But please be aware of the purpose of said bathroom stall. There are 3 bathroom stalls....please leave at least 1 available for those that want to use it for the reason it was put there. If someone needs to use it, they shouldn't have to wait 10-15 minutes for you to change clothes. BTW, we all have the same parts and nobody is going to gawk at you.

At the Science Center, the family restroom is for just that FAMILIES. To the 40 something year old woman with the 10 year old daughter. You could have easily gone into the women's bathroom together. You disallowed me being able to change my son in there. So I head to the women's bathroom. To the lady in front of me, you passed 2 stalls that were open to go into the handicapped stall that had the changing station!!!! So I had to wait and just burn up inside that people just are not thinking. There is no way that I would change Zach on the floor. He would swing his hands on the floor and then put them into his mouth!!! Yuck. If you do not have young kids please do not use the handicapped stalls or the family restrooms.

And also, even if there isn't a changing station in the handicapped stall, please don't use it. If a mama is coming in and needs to allow her young child, or even herself use the bathroom and is pushing a stroller. There are no options for her. The handicapped stalls are the only one mama can use and still keep an eye on her things and children.

I feel so much better.

And yes I am flexible. I did share a bunch of wipes with the scary guy that came up to us in the parking lot needing wipes because his daughter vomitted on herself. I can work with everyone of course.

You might be adopting from China if...

2009-02-25T20:05:00.000-08:00

....you know that I-600 & I-171 aren't highways.

....you've been expecting a baby for over 3 years.

....you understand that it's 2006 in some parts of the world.

....you've "paid for" 3 citizenships, but never brought anyone into the U.S.

....you know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Dillards or dishes

....your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #3 or #4)

....you never know how many days next month will have

....you know that babies come in batches

....you've been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime

....you automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl

....you own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons (because you don't know when or how big)

....you look twice when you see a lady bug

....you're more interested in what will happen in March 2006 than in March 2009

....you know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5 day months

....your due date hasn't changed by days, but by years

....you know who the Rumor Queen is ... AND ... you don't know who she is

....you know that forecast doesn't have anything to do with the weather

....you've waited so long, they re-checked your fingerprints to see if they changed

....trying to understand why they're printing you again, you study your own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles

....when you speak of "that time of month" you're talking about CCAA updates & referrals

You might be adopting from China if you love someone you've never met with all your heart.

Spooky Cool!

2009-02-22T13:17:00.000-08:00

Today I witnessed my first talking in tongues with a translation. It was completely moving. It was just spooky and cool all at the same time. It brought me to tears! I knew I would eventually witness this and figured I would be kind of like, "Oh, that's interesting." The woman was a slightly older woman that we regularly sit near. She was 2 rows in front of us and is usually pretty spirited during worship. But it was near the end of a song and she just started yelling some jibberish with her clenched hands in the air. Then the translation flowed right after, and it seemed her hands were pulsating up into the air the same as it did when she spoke the jibberish sounding language. I was in shock first. But then felt a peace and a softening. I couldn't help but tear up. It was awesome!

Zach is 6 months old!

2009-02-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

I love Jesus but I drink a little

2009-02-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

What's going on with us?

2009-02-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

The usual stuff is going on with the Hughes.

Dave is scheduled to PCS (move) this summer. Looks like we will be heading to England or Riverside, CA (about 45 minutes from Dave's sister). We are excited about both opportunities and can't wait to hear.

On Sat, Feb 7th, I was thinking about jewelry, you would think this isn't related to our adoption but I was thinking of a creating a mother's necklace. I felt this overwhelming knowledge that a girl has been born that will join our family. I will have to check back to this post to see if I am right.

I have printed off our Special Needs checklist and workbook. We will get that done in the next few days. I emailed the Waiting Child coordinator and she said it is about a 6 month wait to have a child, specifically a girl with minor or correctable needs, become available because the waiting list has grown. She is encouraging us to go for more major SNs, a boy or a girl over 2 to cut the wait down. But if we get our stuff in now, it will probably work out about right. If we move in the next couple months we can get settled, then begin the final wait, then probably another 3-5 months to bring our baby home.

Our first homestudy update is scheduled for 2/25.

My contract with TOS is finished. They said I did great, they are just tight on funds. So with Speech Therapy over and my job (at the end of the month it will be over), what am I going to be doing with all my free time. Oh, keep the house perfectly clean as it is on the market. :)

Zach spent about a month in 18 month clothing. I scheduled his 6 month photos and got him 24 month clothing. He is bigger than Asher. About 1/3 of Asher's 18 month clothing is spring/summmer. Zach is a huge sweetie.

Josie has been sick for a few days. She had to skip swimming class, but we found out that she is passing!!! So after 8 times in the Pike class she will move on. But I think we will take a break.

Asher is a big character. Just a beautiful, smart, crazy boy.

And I am to the point where I am done with the baby weight. I will not jump through the hoops I have had to in order to get pregnant with my 3. Just done. If God wants me to have a child I will. But the weight is gone! My legs still hurt from cleaning out the gardens on Sunday (yes we skipped church because Josie was sick). And then I went to the Y yesterday.

Dave is doing well. He is busy with work and as excited as I am about moving.

Good Night Irene Sendler

2009-01-30T08:12:00.000-08:00

I'm so proud of my boy!

2009-01-29T13:35:00.000-08:00

In July when Asher was 23 months old he was evaluated for his speech and came in at a 10 month old's level. He has been through 6 months of Speech Therapy and was evaluated again and came in at a 2 yr 11 month level for receptive language and 2 yr 9 month level for expressive language. He has done so well!

My Notes - Dr. Gordon Neufeld - "The Truth About Consequences"

2009-01-26T19:25:00.000-08:00

Dr. Gordon Neufeld
35 years studying attachment
Father of 5

Why do parent’s get stuck on behavior?
Based on culture, a blindness
Resort to superficial black and white of acceptableness

Blurred lines between punishment and discipline
Cynical views of children, hell bound, reign them in with punishment
Religion points to kids being born into sin
But some focus on grace
Humans, not like plants, move to fulfill their own potential
Neuroscience and Develomentalism support this.

Misconception: Punishment Works
How do you define it working?
Fear? Crippled Developmentally

Reassurance it isn’t too late after punishment
Dev. Approach realizes the potential of the person
-they will grow into themselves
-relationships are forever
-never too late, even as young adults people can develop strong attachments

Those raised on the “Naughty Mat”
-wired brains on ultimatums
How does rewiring take place?
Where is the belief in the child has the ability and desire to be “good”?Believing in it will fulfill it to become true
Trust in human nature
Can happen years and years after.
Child are forgiving because they desire that connection
By the second or third stage of attachment (belonging) tricks (timeouts, consequences) won’t be needed
“If dad doesn’t believe in me why even try?”

Pervasive intolerance with the messiness of growing up
They are children
Why are we here?
They are dependents for nearly 20 years.
Messy and dependent
By the time they are 3 we are concerned with pushing towards dependence

Misperceptions of parents – what is the fear?
Over responsibility – all up to us to teach their lessons, or it will never happen, perception that kids need to be in a line at all times, where is the childhood? Spontaneity? If it is OK leave it alone? We are gardeners not sculptors. Part of the miracle of growth.

We take control and give up reigns – Give up power
We think our power is in the role, Power is in the relationship
Chemicals in the brain during attachment, pursuit of proximity – leads to parent gaining power to influence
They chose love, not love inherent in the role
Our power doesn’t come from our role – comes from having the hearts of our children. And that is all we need to raise them.
Use a consequence shows you like this more than me. Insults relationship. Reveals powerlessness - Piggy back on attachment to things.

Clichés
“In the real world he needs…”
Real world is full of consequences. Teach a lesson with a consequence.
The real world is under our roof.

A child hits, impose consequence
What this means is:
A child’s frustration is given more frustration

Emotion is the biggest player
Consequences always create more frustration – throw gas on the fire

Who’s resistance? Parents or child’s? Blindness to assumption that children learn logically
Cause and effect

In actual fact, this is the exception. Learning isn’t logical, it is emotional
To adapt they need to feel sad about wasn’t/isn’t working. It is the emotion not the consequence. Help move mad to sad or learning won’t occur.

If you used it and kid loses their tears, it doesn’t work. It will further harden them up and not cause learning.

Consequences look at things that matter to a child and use them against them.
Undermines relationship
Invoke being close to something sets you up for defensive attachment
“I don’t care” “Doesn’t matter” “Whatever”
Missing opportunity to develop a conscious
Trying to develop children that focus inwardly instead of outwardly
Reinforces children’s value system and not your values
Money for grades – what is most important? Money or having a child that yearns to learn.
No proper guiding system in these children
Rewards for caring acts, decreases desire to do caring acts
A management model not a growth model – exhausting for parents

What is the primary goal? Fit into society? Reaching their full potential?To fit in – doesn’t feel love
Child must not work for love and is forever insecure
It takes faith in the goodness of nature, something is unfolding, and it is an issue of trust.

Counter-will – Disobedience
Instinct to resist being controlled – completely natural, they need to protect, born difficult by default, need receptive attachment and then can take direction

Young children have no multi-tasking ability
2 yr old attaches and follows mom, but when dad is around then he is so in love with dad
Children were designed for having very little separation for first 6 years of life
When a child is in the fullest himself? Pregnant with himself. Isn’t defiance. Completely natural. “No. Me do it.” Nobody likes to be pushed around.

Triggers – lying, sneaking, not listening

Lying – children by nature try to not be in trouble. Telling truth means seeing things from other perspectives

Sneaking – needs deeper attachment, 6th stage of attachment, happens much later, when they can trust and share all that is in their heart, has to be very attached, rarely happens due to time apart (timeouts), and disallows attachment

Avoid Manipulation to create behavior we like but is unnatural for our children
We must grow up. Children aren’t for parents, parents are for children. It is about them. Why we can’t be grandparents first. Try to be the parent they need. To withhold which is most important to him isn’t the message you want to give to be more convenient for you.

How do parents learn to trust themselves?
Listen to your instincts. How can you do that if you’ve never been allowed?
Life is more like a maze, parenting is like that
You yearn to be the parent your child needs, give security, and love unconditionally
We trip all over them with our insecurities
Both parents and children are transformed. Kids help us grow up. We become the parent our kids need. Nurture instead of rupture attachment.

Believe that your child wants to behave. Baby needs close proximity. Toddler imitates you. Then the child wants to follow your direction. Move towards nurturing and the child gives you their heart.

Intentions are what matter.

All correction/discipline should happen within the context of connection. Relationship is sacred and must be preserved. Then we can point out mistakes naturally.

Believe the child wants to be good. Helps a parent remain centered in goals of parenting. Impose order on their mind, not their behavior. Solicit a good behavior/intention before misbehavior. What comes before the behavior?

Children need structure. Society is free wheeling. Work with intentions of a child, this imposes order, and bears fruit.

How does a parent make this change?
Believe in the child’s desire
1. Don’t try to make headway in the incident. This is symptoms of the problem. Address the incident when the feelings aren’t high.
2. What do you do when a child misbehaves? Throw infraction flag, then bridge behavior with reassurance (bridges such as goodnight, goodbye focus on the other side) “I’m still your dad.” Relationship is bigger than the problem. Focus on the return. If this isn’t done, “Mommy doesn’t like me when…” The rest will sort it out. Convey that nothing can separate you from my love. Un-severable Connection.

Our job is to hold on, it is up to the child to decide when they want to let go.

Melting defenses.
Melting is done with warmth. Warmth comes from the parent that sees the need of the child below the defenses. Don’t take it personally. Make the child feel safe. See beyond the defenses. If we take lying personally, our result will harden the defenses. Feel mercy and empathy – feel their vulnerability. Make sense of them from the inside out – see us as the answer of connection. We were designed for this! Parents are the answer. Believe in yourself.

Create your own tribe of those with your same values. Support and affirmation.

Every mother needs a supporting village.

How does the adoption process work?

2009-01-22T08:37:00.000-08:00

How does it work?
Adopting a child from China is a process that naturally divides into three phases: Assembling the paperwork that will to go to China, waiting, and the trip to China to adopt the child. The paperwork is generally known as the dossier and consists of ten or so documents that actually go to China and other documents required by State, County and adoption agency rules. The paperwork that goes to China must have a series of certifications that attest that the document is authentic. The parent(s) must also submit documents to the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service. After all of the documents are collected and authenticated, the entire package is sent by the adoption agency to the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) in Beijing. Our agency sends dossiers every Friday and we have one other family that is with us. I have contacted them three times and they haven't responded to my emails. I would like to get to know them. If we both remain on the non-special needs path, we will travel together and meet our babies at the same time.

In Beijing, the dossiers are entered into the registry and then translated. After this step, the documents are checked to ensure that all of the legal requirements have been met. In parallel with the parents, the Social Welfare Institutes (orphanages) all over China have assembled a dossier on each child available for international adoption that includes a photo and medical report. These are also sent to CCAA in Beijing. Finally, the two sets of dossiers come together and a child is matched up with a family. The medical report and a (small) photo are sent back to the adoption agency in the U.S. This long awaited document is called the referral or offering. It specifically says to the family, here is a child that is available for adoption, would you accept this specific child to be part of your family? After translation into English, the medical reports and photo are sent to the family that has been waiting for many years at this point. Except for very unusual circumstances, the family accepts the referral. This acceptance is sent back to China and the second part of the waiting starts. In China, the acceptance leads to further paperwork in Beijing along with notification to the Social Welfare Institute that a family has been identified for that specific child. After the paperwork is complete, CCAA sends a permission to travel document back to the adoption agency. This permission to travel document initiates the third phase of the process, the trip.

Here is a cart of dossiers at the CCAA. They are bundled by Log in Date (LID) and by agency.

What documents go into a dossier ?
The contents of a dossier will vary depending on your specific circumstances. However the bare minimum will include: (1) Your home study, (2) Your petition to the Chinese government to be allowed to adopt a child, (3) a financial statement showing your income, assets and liabilities, (4) a document showing that you are not a wanted criminal, (5) birth, marriagecertificates, (6) the I-171H document from the U.S. I.N.S. stating that they have processed your I-600A application. (7) a letter from your employer certifying that you hold a job, and (8) health certificates (a form filled out by your doctor after a basic physical exam), (9) a copy of each parents passport, and (10) two photos of the families house, (11) a set of passport photos for each adoptive parent, (12) a family photo and that might be it.

Your adoption agency will probably require a number of other documents and forms to fulfill state and local (city and/or county) legal requirements as well. These can be even more extensive than the documents that go to China in extreme cases.

What is a home study ?
A home study is a document prepared by a licensed social worker that describes the prospective family. The home study must be conducted by a social worker employed by an agency with a China adoption program. A typical home study will involve three visits with the social worker, one at home and two at the social workers office. The family will also need to arrange letters of recommendation from people who know the prospective parent(s) well, these letters are sent directly to the social worker. The final document, which usually runs to six pages or so, can be thought of as a short biography of the parents and an evaluation of whether they will be acceptable parents. The agencies are not looking for perfect parents (to-be), they are looking for people that will provide these children with a loving and stable families to grow up as normal kids.

What is a referral?
A referral, also called an offering by some agencies, is the response of the Chinese government to your request to adopt a child. They send you information about a specific child and you decide if the child is acceptable. The information consists of two items, a small photo, usually about 1 inch by 2 inches that is usually color but may be black and white, and a medical report. The quantity of the information in the medical report is quite varied. They can be as little as 1/2 page with items like "Nutrition: normal", or they may be 4 pages long with a full battery of laboratory test results. It will always include the name of the child, which was assigned by the orphanage, and their best estimate of the date of birth. The medical report can be anywhere from 2-8 months old, as can the photograph. The medical report will be in Mandarin and it is usually the responsibility of the adoption agency to provide a full translation. After getting all of the information, the prospective parents have a limited amount of time, usually a week, to decide whether to accept that specific child into their family. It is often suggested that the family have an international adoption doctor look over the file. Why an International Adoption Doctor? Well, there are health issues that adoptive children face that regular American kids don't. A simple example would be the size of the children. Chinese people are smaller than American, so if the sizes seem small that might be alerting to a regular American doctor, but completely normal for an International Adoption Doctor.

Here is a photo of the cubicles where CCAA workers match babies to families.

Why does it take so long to receive Travel Approval?
The acceptance is sent to CCAA by your adoption agency, usually by fax. The information must then be entered into the CCAA records. Next a document is sent by mail to the orphanage and to the province officials notifying them that a family has been identified for the specific child. The provincial officials then have their own paperwork to process and send back to CCAA. The orphanage officials then will check the child to ensure that the medical condition of the child has not changed significantly. The orphanage officials will send their own documents to CCAA confirming that the child is still available for adoption. In very rare cases, the child may have been adopted by a local family and the notification has not reached CCAA in time. All documents in China are sent by mail and the Chinese mail system is not quite as efficient and speedy as the U.S. Postal Service. After all documents are received from the provincial and local officials, the paperwork is finalized and the permission to travel document is prepared. The official document is reviewed and personally signed by one of the two Vice Directors of the CCAA. This is then sent to the agency, which notifies the parents.

What happens to my dossier in China?
Your dossier is condensed into a registration form that can be reviewed instead of searching through bulky dossiers. The steps are as follows: Step one - all applications go through the initial office where the paperwork is translated or its already existing translation is verified. The registration form is completed and entered into the computer. This step can take two to four months based on current volume. Step two is a transfer down the hall to Department 1 where the family's qualifications and documents are checked. This step can also take two to four months to complete. Step Three is Department 2 where the family is matched with a waiting child! The medical report of the child is reviewed one final time and that report and the child's small visa photo are forwarded to the family's agency. The intent is for the family to review the information and accept in writing the referral and return this approval back to the CCAA. Once received, the information is shared with the provincial officials. The mailing alone can take 2 weeks. Then, the Invitation to Travel letter is generated, and is personally signed (with a special red chop) by one of the two Vice Directors of the Center. Finally, the family can travel! The math doesn't currently work out because there are at least 15,000 dossiers waiting and they are just processing through referral at a rate of 6 days of dossiers per month.

Here is a photo of the matching room with all of the dossiers being stored on the far wall.

How old are the children ?

In general, most children are between 6 and 20 months of age. Due to legal requirements and the time required for document processing in China, the children are almost always over six months of age before the adoption is completed. Parents normally request a specific age range that they would prefer. CCAA usually, but not always, will comply with the wishes of the parents. Parents may request older children if that is their preference. If a family requests an infant, China determines that is a child under the age of 2.

Are all the children girls ?
No. About 95% of the children are girls but some boys are available. Particularly the waiting child program has tons of boys. Some are older. Some have any range between what is considered a minor special need up to some major special needs. There is also an increase in the number of non-special needs boys being referred. It is assumed if a Chinese family already has 1 boy, and they can't afford the fees to keep another child, they will abandon that child in a easy to find place and then brought to an orphanage. Just as the girls are left. This is usually at the police station, hospital, the door of the orphanage, a well-populated park, the city gate, a common bridge, etc.

Can you specifically request a boy ?
Yes, and many people do this.

Can you adopt twins?
This is extremely unlikely but has been done on rare occations. Since China began allowing significant numbers of foreign adoptions in 1993, there have been over 20,000 children adopted to the U.S. from China. The best available information is that during this time less than 50 sets of twins have been adopted. Each of these cases has represented a unique set of circumstances where the biggest common factor is a large amount of blind luck. There are rumors of special criteria China uses to place twins, but there are not any written rules. And by the way, if a Chinese family gives birth to twins it is counted in the 1 child rule. It is really a 1 birth rule, so they can keep both without fines. I have just heard of 2 sets of twin boys being adopted, most are girls. Two mouths to feed is challenging if the family is living in poverty.

Can single people adopt ?
Yes and No. As of May 1, 2007 , singles can no longer apply. There are some women still waiting as they are just starting on March 2006 referrals. At this time adoption agencies could only have a percentage of their dossiers going over be single women. There have been rare cases of single men adopting and they have been only given boy referrals. Way before this singles could apply just as families could. The trend has moved to slowly not allow women. Throughout this single men and women had to vow that they weren't homosexual.

What requirements do the parents have to meet ?
Starting May 1, 2007 China has new "recommendations" for accepting dossiers from couples. To adopt a healthy child, Chinese law requires that the parents be over the age of 30. Newly issued guidelines place an upper limit of 50 for both parents and 55 for a special needs child. The parents also need to have sufficient income to support the child and to be in good health. Parents must have a net worth of $80,000 and have no major medical conditions including the use of antidepressent medication or other medications for chronic conditions. This is a grey area and agencies are scrambling for clarification. There are criminal background rules, health and BMI rules, number of children in the family rules. There are quite a lot of rules and it gave us a complex trying to prove we were perfect for China.

How long does the process take ?
The current wait time from dossier submission to referral is around 3 years. Most of the waiting is dictated by how long various State, Federal, and Chinese government agencies take to process all of the documents. The wait is increasing as each month they are giving out 6 days of referrals and getting back logged 24 days each month as they are collecting more dossiers. The CCAA is currently referring March 2006 and once they move through ten thousand dossiers things should get more normal when they hit the dossiers starting May 1, 2007 due to the new rules.

Exciting Adventures

2009-01-21T19:21:00.000-08:00

We have been on some exciting adventures, mostly emotional adventures. Over Christmas I found a set of twins that will be available for adoption. We had our agency ask for their files and we were told no because we have kids. That was so disappointing.

We were in San Diego Jan 9-16th. My birthday was the 12th. We went to Fuddruckers and Dave arranged about 20 people to be there. It was fun.

San Diego was fun. We spent tons of time with Dave's sister Meredith and her daughters. The kids now miss them so much.

We are still working on getting things back to normal.

And we found out that the Air Force doesn't start matching jobs until next week. So it may be into Feb when we hear where and when we will PCS.

Zach is doing well. He is starting to like being on his stomach, which is a big step for him. He has started a couple solids. And yesterday he got shots and I weighed him quick to see how much Tylenol to give him. With clothes on he was 21 lbs 11oz. He is such a big boy! And he started saying "Mama", before "Dada" which is shocking.

Mom, he really did. When I put him down he started saying "Mamamamama". And he has said it a half a dozen time when he is upset and wants me to pick him up. (I know you too well)

Update on Us

2009-01-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

We went up to Northern MN for Christmas. It was darn cold. But it was so fun to see the kids have so much fun with my family. Next week we will be heading to Sunny San Diego to see Dave's family.

Dave will find out at the end of the month where the Air Force is sending us next. We are working on getting organized so we can put the house on the market. Dave found some video tapes that fit into the video camera that I were sure were lost. Precious footage of our baby Josie. I have thought about them often and it just made me so upset. I need to get that on CD.

Work is busy. I have a project due before we leave. Also I have a MOPS newsletter to finish. AhhhH!!!!!

Happy New Year to you all!

Still no...

2008-12-17T18:55:00.000-08:00

Obama News.

Josie's Big News

2008-12-14T17:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight Josie did her prayer for salvation. She knows Jesus died on the cross for her sins, asked for forgiveness, asked Jesus to live in her heart, and she promised to follow Christ all of her life. She did the prayer all by herself. We talked more about it and what it means. We are so excited for her!

Obama - Indonesian or Kenyan?

2008-12-11T20:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been spending my time tonight looking into the status of Obama's citizenship. I have found some interesting things.

It seems a Kenyan birth certificate has surfaced. This is going to be included in Berg's attempt with the Supreme Court. This is not verified, but an insider says he has it. It is a hospital record and a specific hospital, in a specific city is listed in the court documents. This can be seen here. We will all find out if the Supreme Court is taking the case on Monday.

And there is a question as to if he was born in HI, was he a natural born citizen because his dad wasn't a citizen and his mom wasn't a citizen long enough. His mom was 18 and the rule states that she should be a citizen for 5 years beyond her 16th birthday. Then things are up in the air because nobody is sure if his parents were married.

And then the fact that he moved to Indonesia and renounced his US Citizenship (if he had it) to attend Indonesian schools. Here they have a copy of his school records where he claims to be Indonesian. The US and Indonesia do not have any dual citizenship agreement. It is one or the other. And take special note he claims his religion is Islam.

Is none of this is important to anyone at the Supreme Court Level? Or in the Senate's Ethics and Rules Committee (as he would illegally be holding a Senate seat)?

There are rumors in the comments that Obama was listed as a foreign student at Harvard.

This is just sad and embarrassing. It shows the result of sin and corruptness. The wages of sin is death.

I have read that there are organizations raising tens of millions of dollars to challenge any legislaton he pushes forward because he has taken the office illegally.

Here is a summary of Berg's efforts.

Obama here is a message to you. The truth shall set you free.

Today is a day I have been waiting for...

2008-12-10T18:26:00.000-08:00

Asher said, "I Wub You Mommy!"

He is nearly 2.5 years old and at 23 months he spoke at a 10 month old's level. I am so proud of him. And I love him so much!!!

The Abraham Lincoln Museum

2008-12-04T17:14:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos of our recent trip to the Abraham Lincoln Museum in Springfield, IL. It was a great thing for us to see. We mildly introduced Josie to slavery. She was mostly interested in Mary Todd Lincoln's beautiful dresses. The experience was moving. They had a 4 minute movie about the Civil War and how the North slowly moved through the South to defeat them. In the lower right corner they had the death tolls mounting. Did you know it was nearly 1.5 million Americans died? Some people had tears in their eyes. They had many areas where we couldn't take pictures. But we saw Abe's hat. And the fan Mary carried the night Abe was killed. As well as his gloves. All with blood still on them. It was interesting seeing his 5 presidential photos and see how he aged in such a short time. Even the difference between the 1st and 3rd were very telling. We learned pretty much his entire life story. And to think he was assassinated by a man that was fearing he would give blacks the right to vote. It just seemed like he was such a visionary and it was all ended too soon.

BTW, Asher was not harmed in his trip to the Abe Lincoln Museum. He was just acting like a 2 year old.

The Dana Thomas House - Springfield, IL

2008-12-04T17:05:00.000-08:00

Getting Ready for Jesus's Birthday

2008-11-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

We got our Christmas picture done today. Thanks Carrie (nice neighbor that has kids Josie & Asher's ages) for running over before church!

I did most of the Christmas shopping. Just one or two more things to get. We have our fake tree up in the basement. We were going to get a new tree as well for the main floor in our big window, but I think it will only be up 1-2 weeks before we leave. So that is a lot of work for not much enjoyment. We have our Christmas lights up. And Dave just has to decorate the living Christmas tree outside. We do lights and ornaments. :)

So, here is my insider tip for Christmas shopping. I use MrRebates.com. I think every store that I buy from is a member. I even get basics from drugstore.com. And here is why I think drugstore.com is so great. I get all my diapers, wipes, vitamins, toothpaste, deoderant, shampoo, handsoap, handgel, etc, etc. So I don't have to go to Target or Walmart with 3 babies, especially when it is so busy. We just have to order about 5-7 days in advance. I haven't found laundry detergent on there. And tonight I tried to get toilet paper, but since I get the big ones it eliminated the free shipping. Oh, yes - FREE shipping over $49. And you can earn drugstore.com dollars. And they have sales. And coupon codes pop up when you are in between MrRebates and the store you are going to. No taxes either. So it is really way cheaper. About once a month I go to Target and get stuff but that is better than every week. I just log on and get stuff and that takes 5 minutes. They have a box on the homepage that has things you buy and you just click through and throw them all in your shopping bag. I also occassionally get $5 off orders of $50 or $10 off orders of $100. And obviously the rebate from MrRebates.

So now with clothes orders, regular drugstore.com orders, Christmas presents, etc, I have over $100 in rebates coming back. This is all going into the adoption kitty. And I think if you enter my email when you sign up (which is free) a small percentage of your order also goes to me. My email is lotsahughes@att.net.

MrRebates has a product search too so you don't have to look all over the internet. They have sale prices, then the rebate percentage on top of that.

I did buy a bunch of clearance wrapping paper last year after Christmas at 75% off. So I just had Dave stop by the Dollar General right by our house and get some Christmas labels. All of the presents bought are already wrapped.

The kids are just dying with excitement already.

Zachariah is 3 months old!

2008-11-29T13:19:00.001-08:00

This is Zachariah's first pictures. We usually do the first ones at 3 months. For those that have been to our house our stairway is full of pictures. 3, 6, 9, 12, and 2 years on one side. And now with Josie starting with 3 & 4 on the other side.

As I have written before I got all worked up about pictures. The perfect outfit. The perfect smile. The right background. The right photographer. Well, with this being the 3rd kid I have to be more calmed down. I grabbed the outfit while at JCPenney last time. I narrowed it down to 2 outfits and Josie picked. She did well. It brings out the blue in Z's eyes. My only blue eyed kiddo. And the rest, I just couldn't stress about because we have been so busy.

I did think ahead and planned the pictures for a Saturday. I figured I could just go with Z and D could stay home with Josie and Asher. Good call Mama! It was a zoo. I could hardly walk through there. I checked us in and they said it would be 20 minutes. I figured that was about right because I needed to change him and nurse him. So I went back to the dressing room. He had slept up until the moment I put him in the car so I knew he needed a new diaper. And who can smile when they are dirty. Well, he had a super massive blowout from the arches of his feet up to his armit level on his back. I only had a few wipes and 2 diapers. Well, now 1 left. I didn't bring another onesie. The thought crossed my mind, but I figured we would be safe.

So I cleaned him up and nursed him in a back corner. Then got him dressed. Then we continued to wait and wait. It was over an hour. Of course he spit up on his vest. I was able to wash it and allow it to dry in the long wait. Then picture time. He did awesome. It took about 3 minutes to do 50 shots. And would have been 2 minutes but I took his clothes off and put on his last clean diaper. He just smiled and cooed. It went very well.

Then they said 15-20 minutes and the pictures would be ready. I waited 30 minutes and then checked on them. They said 5-8 minutes more. So I ran next door and got a jacket for Christmas. We will all have to match of course. Gosh I am a sentimental sap! I got a clearance jacket and necklace that was additionally 25% off. Score Mama!

So another successful photo shoot for the Hughes.

Zach's Dedication

2008-11-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

Our Sweet Zachariah was dedicated to the Lord last Sunday. Pastor Hal always likes to get a photo of him with the baby. Zach smiled really big and hammed it up. Asher turned around and liked seeing us all on the big screens.

We had a nice Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

Our Thanksgiving Day was pretty simple this year. Dave got a smoked turkey breast and I threw the sides together.

I did want to share my new found way to make perfect mashed potatoes. For those that know me well, know I love potatoes! So here are the tricks.

Yukon Golds. Gotta get Yukon Golds. Peel them, leave them whole (cuts down on water they absorb) and add them to a pot of cold water with lots of salt. Bring it to a boil and then back to a simmer for 30-40 minutes. Then add them back to the pot to evaporate more water. Then mash. They had the best texture and tasted so good.

Orange Day

2008-11-27T07:30:00.000-08:00

We've Had Our Hands Full!

2008-11-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

This weekend we will end an extremely busy period. Dave's Arab/Israeli Conflict class ends Sunday. He has been home all week working on it. He has been on the computer all the time because one of the books he needed to read was an eBook. So it has been hard for me to get online to do my TOS work. Most meals we do not eat together because I need to forego a warm meal to jump online while he eats. Then he bugs me, "Are you done yet?" AhhH!!!! We need another computer.

We have had some answered prayers. Today my dad found out that a lump in his throat is noncancerous. Actually an extra thyroid floating around in there. How odd? But better odd than cancer. My mom was told she isn't going to die from her lung condition. We got tickets to go to San Diego in January. And an angel maybe helping us with our adoption expenses. Many answered prayers.

Last night I spoke with Dave's sister Meredith and after the call I looked into a curriculum she mentioned. She just kind of threw it out there. And I had heard of it before. But I went on their website last night. Dave was getting the kids in bed. I had to jump on. But I felt a huge peace and weight lifted from me when I read their pages. In theory I like the Charlotte Mason approach, and that is what Mere does. But I just can't get my head to make the paradigm shift. Just this idea of homeschooling is new. For those that don't know, Charlotte Mason believed in the child's individuality and interest in learning. They do a reading of an in depth subject matter (called a living book) and then narration. The rest of the day is filled with nature hikes and spending time outdoors. An example would be finding a pond and seeing frog eggs and tadpoles and do a study right there of the life cycle of a frog. Mere said they do math every day for about 20 minutes as well because that was one link I saw missing. So this seems good in theory, I just have an insecurity that it would be the best education for my children. And Mere reassured me that if I am not comfortable with it I shouldn't do it. God would give me comfort in what I should do. Then she mentioned Sonlight Curriculum. This is the one I visited and feel pretty solid about it. It is very literature based like Charlotte Mason. Meredith said many of her friends use it and love it. So I went there and I just know it is what we are supposed to do. I am awaiting Dave's approval, but he will OK it I am pretty sure. So I have joined all their email lists, requested their catalog and joined their forums. I have a question about what level we should start out at. From my previous research I discovered we are already doing Kindergarten, so I thought we would start with 1st grade. But I want to evaluate this further and see if we will miss anything by starting at Level 1. If I think we will be, I will just buy the item that fulfills our need and do that in the next 9 months. But I will have to get on the computer to do that. :) I feel so at peace and so liberated. I do think we will do some elements of Charlotte Mason and really delve into topics to learn a huge amount about a person or event. And we will do some unit studies as well when we want a break from school. But this is all just so exciting for me!!!

Big Sale at The Schoolhouse Store

2008-11-26T13:21:00.000-08:00

The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine is having an amazing sale on subscriptions during their annual Black Friday Sale November 26 – 30. For those 5 days only, they are drastically reducing their one-year subscription price to $7.95! That's the price you would usually pay for just one issue at a bookstore!

This is their lowest price ever on the magazine and they want all of you to take advantage of this offer and share the info with your friends. Please don't miss out. Your one-year subscription will pay for itself time and time again as you receive practical tips and Biblical encouragement to keep going strong in your commitment to homeschooling and to the Lord. Since it's a quarterly magazine, they even have a monthly subscriber's only E-Newsletter called Teacher's Toolbox that will give you seasonal teaching ideas and a free E-Book download! It's like joining a unit study of the month club! The free E-Books alone are valued at almost $250/year. It's really perfect for people who are homeschooling on a shoestring or just wanting to add in some little extras to your teaching.

Plus during the Black Friday Sale, they have all kind of bonus gifts when you spend $50, $75, $100, or $150. Some are electronic downloads that you can download immediately, while other are physical products mailed from various vendors directly to your home. AND, their Win Big contest is going on so if you just happen to be customer 67,000, you will receive a prize package valued at almost $500 which includes a $150 gift certificate to the Schoolhouse Store! Who couldn't use that? And you can qualify to win it no matter how much or how little you spend!Mark your calendars for November 26 - 30th and do a little shopping from your seat, not your feet at the Schoolhouse Store's Black Friday Sale!

www.TheOldSchoolhouseStore.com

This is so disappointing!

2008-11-16T13:21:00.000-08:00

My mom just sent me a link that reveals that the Susan G. Komen foundation donates money to Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers.

I just can't believe it. WHY!????

Abortion increases the chance of breast cancer. I have read that when a women becomes pregnant that her breasts continue to develop. So the body tells the breasts "GO!" and then "Stop!", and the start and stop without completion is what can lead to breast cancer. A women's breasts are not fully complete with their development until after she breastfeeds. And the longer a women breastfeeds the lower her chances are of getting breast cancer.

I am so disappointed. Why can't they concentrate on breast cancer research?

When will we get our referral?

2008-11-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

I just entered our LID (Log in Date) on ChinaAdoptionForecast.com. It says there are 712 LIDs before ours. They are referring about 5.9 days per month. They forecast our referral will be 1/2/16. So 5 more years of waiting if we stay in the Non Special Needs line.

RIP Gus

2008-11-10T14:08:00.000-08:00

Today Dave gave a presentation at a school for Veteran's Day. He had a powerpoint presentation and showed a picture of our family when he spoke about having a reason to fight for freedom. The he showed a picture of Gus, jokingly claiming it was our dog. And lo and behold I found this article today. Poor Gus is no longer living.

Update: I sent Dave the link and he used Sam, not Gus. I guess Sam is dead too. And he is uglier! He looks dead or possessed or something. Goodness!

Funny Josie Stories & Halloween

2008-11-07T18:03:00.000-08:00

Josie has been very interested in how the body works for the last year. We have studied every system. She learned all about the reproductive system while looking through a pamphlet during my appts when I was pregnant. Lately she has been really into drawing and learning her letters. She draws "guys" all the time. She has gotten more and more detailed. Recently she added a baby in the guy's stomach. And I saw these weird things around it. She said it was the handle bars (aka fallopian tubes - I told her they looked like handle bars). "The baby is holding onto the handle bars so he wouldn't fall out. Just like Zachariah did." Oh goodness!

Last night she had a toy that is supposed to help kids with fine motor skills and letters. It is round beads with letters on them that you string on a string. She did that and then tied the ends together in a knot. She was running around the house and then came to me. "I am going to save the world! I'm Super Jo-Jo!!!" I figure she got that from the 2 of us always trying to make the world a better place.

Here are the Halloween Pictures. Josie was a Princess. Asher a dinosaur. And Zachariah was a Tootsie Roll.

I'm In!

2008-11-06T18:26:00.000-08:00

I am fairly confident I have secured employment with The Old Schoolhouse magazine. I awoke to find an email telling me I was invited to the phone conference and what position they were considering me for. So as soon as it is for sure, I will post. This may be an answered prayer for us to help fund our adoption.

Referrals just came out the last couple days. Seems a 5 day batch. Oh gosh. I just entered our LID into a China referral calculator and it said sometime in 2012. I ignored taking note of the month.

I have over 100 photos on our camera. So in the next couple days I will make some postings of what has been happening to the Hughes's besides all of the classwork.

Here is our pumpkin picking adventure. We ended it with a funnel cake. Yummy!!!

Here's a new family picture!

2008-11-05T14:07:00.001-08:00

Get your own Family Sticker Maker & MySpace Layouts.

The Calm After the Storm

2008-11-05T13:49:00.000-08:00

I feel so much more at peace right now. I completed my IM Conferencing. We had some technical difficulties, so I will learn tomorrow if I have employment with TOS.

And I think I have prayed so much since last night that I think God has taken some of my concerns away. I know He has a plan, I just can't see the whole plan.

So tonight we meet with the Elders at our church. This is the final step to becoming members which is so long overdue. I have been pregnant with my husband deployed, or nursing a baby since we got here so we didn't have time to get our required classes completed. Now, we are almost done and have this last final step.

Gosh, it feels good to complete things.

Election Night Update On Us.

2008-11-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

We had a busy day with MOPS this morning, then I voted, then I had to finish my final homework assignment. Tomorrow I will take part in a IM meeting and by 2:00 I should know if I have a chance at employment. Oh, some companies are hiring, so let's not be pessimistic.

So, speaking of pessimism. Those that know us know we, especially Dave, are into politics. So as I was showering this morning. I do my best thinking in the shower. :) I remembered a conversation I had with a friend that predicted rioting if Obama lost. I was not so sure. Then I heard it again on Glenn Beck's talk show. So, I started thinking about it. Why is it that the war hating, compassionate democrat supporters riot if he loses? Don't they love peace? And what would be the riot against? More of the same? More of the same is the status quo at this point.

If Obama wins it will be a different America. One I fear will be worse. Will I riot if he wins? No. But I am in support of the War on Terrorism. The difference is that I support fighting against those that are terrorists. I don't fight my fellow Americans due to difference in opinion. I love my fellow Americans.

So tonight we will be online and watching TV and see how this all shakes out.

We have been quite busy. Sunday Zach started with the same cold Asher, Dave and I have been fighting. By bedtime his fever was 101.8. I cooled him down with a cool bath and Motrin. I made a same day appt on Monday afternoon. They didn't help me a bit and sent me to Children's Hospital ER in St. Louis. They said the cold can lead to a sacrificed immune system which can lead to numerous infections that could turn deadly quickly. So that freaked me out. I had to pass about 10 hospitals to get there. I only had to wait an hour and a half in the waiting room. And then it took about 1/2 hour to get him checked out and chest x-rays to check for pneumonia. He checked out fine. He continues to be very congested which makes nursing difficult, but he doesn't have much of a fever.

On top of the homework assignment due today. I had my MOPS newsletter due to the church yesterday. And I had to review my classmates assignments from last week. So it was just so much to do this last week.

The rest of the week will be busy as well. Tomorrow I have my IM meeting. If I am chosen for a contract position I will have a phone conference at 2pm. Asher also has Speech Therapy during this time. Our dishwasher is leaking so I will have to call the repair guy again and get him here ASAP. Thursday Dave leaves for 4 days. Thankfully he is getting some groceries on the way home tonight. The appts don't stop there. Friday Asher has therapy again. Friday night we are in a church group and I emailed to let them know we won't be there. I have to hire a babysitter and I am only in the room for about 1/2 the time anyways so why go? I don't know what is going on this weekend.

UPDATE: Well, it is almost midnight. And I think I am in denial. It is some sort of fear. The biggest fear I have is the strong likelihood that Obama will be able to choose Supreme Court Justices. He is the most radical in his support of abortion. Partial Birth Abortion is OK. And no medical treatment for babies that survive a gruesome abortion attempt. I am sad for the unborn. Not even a chance at life. The only thing the news is saying is he is the first black President. There are so many larger issues than that! Of course I believe a black person can be President. And I would rather take the chances and pull the name of any black man or woman in the entire country. So, I need to calm down. God has a plan in this. We aren't even sure he is a native born American. I wonder what will happen if we really discover he is Kenyan. How embarrassing for the majority of Americans! How many people voted and don't know who he is? Oh, I got to calm down and get some sleep.

I Never Give Up!

2008-11-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

I have been working with Josie more and more with her letters. She is easily learning her phonics and sight recognizing the letters. So I work with her on writing the letters. This was hard at first because she is a perfectionist. When we first started she would not look at me if I tried to correct her or show her how to do it even better. It was as if she felt like she was a failure. If I continued without recognizing how she was feeling she would run off into another room and hide her head. This made me a bit leary of homeschooling her. But I have learned (how ironic, eh?) that she needs a very gentle approach. I have to remind her that whenever people try something new it takes them a few times to get it just right. I tell her that I am proud of her to try a new letter we haven't done yet. But we need to try a few times. I tell her she can't give up she has to keep trying. So I point out the characteristics of a letter done correctly and ask her along the way if she sees what I am pointing out. Then she does very well.

So today, we went to a presentation on base done by Sesame Street and the USO. It was an Elmo show. But of course had Cookie Monster, Rosita, Grover, and Zoey. The kids had so much fun.

So we came home and I declared quiet time due to the fact that we are trying to really have some down time and get over our colds (Zachariah now has it too!). Josie kept telling me she wanted to do a lower case "b". She even acted as if she was drawing it in the air. I told her no that we were watching a letter video instead. I had to take a peice of paper away from her. What a bulldog! She wouldn't give up. She headed upstairs and told Dave, "Mom said I can do some coloring." Liar! So somehow she got a page of paper from my grocery list notepad. Dave came downstairs and told me that she said I said she could color. I explained I didn't. He was disappointed that she lied. A few minutes later she came down and showed me her letter. I said, "Yes, I know that you did that and you told Dad a lie." She said, "Well, I never give up!"

What a character!!! She says stuff so often I don't know how to react.

This guy is going to vote for McCain!

2008-10-31T06:33:00.000-07:00

My husband Dave has also been to Iraq. He has been gone 1/4 of the kids lives. And gone the last 2 times I have been pregnant. He is going to vote for McCain too.

Happy Birthday Mama...aka Grandma Cookie!

2008-10-30T12:42:00.001-07:00

It's my mama's birthday today!!! Happy Birthday!!!

The kids say "Happy Birthday Grandma Cookie!"!!

We continue to be super busy!

2008-10-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

Dave and I are in the middle of classes. Both at the same time makes things a bit crazy. Dave's class is on the Arab-Israeli conflict. He is pursuing his Master's in National Security Studies with an emphasis in Middle East Studies.

Asher and I have bad colds. We both need a bunch of vitamin C and some serious down time.

Josie and Asher's tumbling and swimming classes are over for now. Phew! We will take a break until after Christmas.

We have a trip planned to go to Springfield,IL in a couple of weeks. We will visit the Abraham Lincoln Library and Museum and The Dana-Thomas House. The Dana-Thomas House is a Frank Lloyd Wright original and we love prairie style so that will be fun. And frankly, we need some fun time away from the busyness and have fun as a family.

We will be driving up to Northern MN for Christmas. And then in early-mid January heading to San Diego to see Dave's dad and sister's family.

I have also began the curriculum research. And I have attended our church's Hearts at Home get-together. It seems Josie is in Kindergarten right now. So I will have to evaluate where she is before I purchase something. We may finish Kindergarten before she turns 5. I love the freedom to go at her speed. I figure there may be times or situations down the road where we may need to slow down and that will be fine. She is really into the letters and is getting very good at sight recognition and phonics. And is doing fairly good at writing the letters. She has long mastered shapes and colors.

We did just get our pumpkins and Dave is almost done carving them. I am the designer he is the carver and cleaner. :) A good set up don't cha think? The kids are attending the Fall Festival tonight at church. I will try to get photos downloaded tomorrow so you can see our cute Dinosaur, Tootsie Roll and Princess.

I like this guy.

2008-10-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

Please excuse the suggestive comment. The rest is great.

Asher is doing well in Speech Therapy

2008-10-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

Asher has been doing very well in Speech Therapy. This week especially. He has been saying so many new words. In addition he is trying to say the first sounds of words that he has never said before. For example, I asked him if he likes lasagna or pizza better. He said, "Pee-Ay". I at least knew which one he was trying to say.

I have had this feeling all along that he lacked confidence. He has the ability. But for some reason he thinks he needs to be perfect or he won't even try.

The picture above is Asher with his Speech Therapist Jeanie. Last week they worked with playdough. He used to call her Jeanie, but now calls her Nee-Nee. He gets so excited when she comes.

Thanks Everyone

2008-10-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for sending emails. It seems things are straightened out. I got this email today. I am still trying to confirm if we are good for 4.5 years or 6 years. Isn't it sad that I am worried about that?

We have approval for 18 months then a free renewal good for another 18 months. Then we can file again and that is good for 18 months, then some believe we would get another free renewal for another 18 months. Others think we don't get a second free renewal. If our adoption isn't complete yet I think the wording leads us to believe that we do get a free second renewal.

Joint Council Update

Program Advocacy
Date October 14, 2008
Regarding I-600A Process

Dear Families & Friends,
After advocating on behalf of adoptive families for the past 6 months, Joint Council is very pleased to confirm that USCIS has announced a very positive ruling concerning the I-600A process.

In summary, it is our understanding that, effective immediately, families who filed Form I-600A, Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition, prior to April 1, 2008 and whose USCIS approval of that petition (aka the I-171H) has not expired, will be able to proceed with their adoption under the I-600A process if they take certain steps while their approval remain valid. This means that families with valid Form I-600A approvals will not be required to transition to The Hague process via Form I-800A. In order to maintain their status as ‘grandfathered’ cases, families with non-expired Form I-600A approvals must request a one-time free extension. Then, prior to the expiration of the one-time free extension, families must file a new Form I-600A and pay the appropriate fee.

It is also our understanding that families with a Form I-600A approval that has expired and who have not obtained an extension or filed a new Form I-600A, will need to undertake the Hague process. The Hague process will also apply to any petitioner who has not completed their adoption by 2014.

As we noted in our Position Statement, this ruling will save adoptive families thousands of dollars, eliminate countless sleepless nights and ensures that their adoption can proceed to completion.

On behalf of over 10,000 adoptive families, Joint Council extends its appreciation to the following individuals and organizations for their tireless efforts.
· Diane Kunz, Executive Director of the Center for Adoption Policy
· Dianne Pearce, Waiting Parent and Co-Organizer of the Fairness for Families Petition
· Debbie Reynolds, Joint Council China Caucus Co-Chairperson
· Kathleen Strottman, Executive Director of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute
· David Yurkovich, Waiting Parent and Co-Organizer of the Fairness for Families Petition
· Members of the United States Congress
· United States Citizenship and Immigration Services
We offer our collective congratulations to everyone who participated in the Joint Council Call-To-Action and the Adoption for All: Fairness for Families petition. And we also send our congratulations to all who participated in the countless meetings, conference calls and emails over the past 6-months. Joint Council is built on a principle of collaboration and this very successful effort clearly demonstrates this principle in action. Our collective voice is definitely stronger than any singular organization or individual.
Joint Council notes that our interpretation of the ruling is offered as a courtesy only and should not be used in making determinations or decisions. Please refer to the full text of the announcements by USCIS which can be found at USCIS Announcement and USCIS Q&A in making any decisions.
Joint Council will provide more specifics as they become available and asks you to visit our website for the latest news and updates.

Best Wishes & Congratulations,

Tom

TOM DIFILIPO President & CEO Joint Council
+1-703-535-8045 Assistant, Taylor Fleeson www.jcics.org

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Update on us.

2008-10-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

Obviously the adoption is creeping along at a snails pace. But I found out that China decided to give out more referrals this month. For sure one more day. This is great! I guess we never know what to expect. I have been following referrals for the last year and they always give them out at the beginning of the month. Well they did. So I guess I can't say always. The sooner babies without families get into their family the better. Yeah!!!!

Yesterday I got some great news that I have been chosen for a marketing class with The Old Schoolhouse magazine. It could lead to either temoporary or permanent work from home. So that will be great to help fund our adoption. If that doesn't work out, just getting the old gears turning again will feel good.

We have also been researching our next assignment. We hope to move next summer. Dave's work is trying to figure out how to hold onto him. He would have to get a waiver, which we don't want to count on. Dave really wants to go back to flying and end his career doing so. That will help him get a commercial flying job after this final assignment. The top of our list right now is Ramstein AFB in Germany. I have looked into how an overseas PCS would affect our adoption. And thanks to a wonderful lady living in Germany, who happens to be Air Force, and has started and completed their adoption in Germany through the same adoption agency we are using; as well as a Social Worker I feel at ease pursuing this as our top choice. Now we need to wait to see if it is God's top choice. :)

Isn't it amazing how God puts people in your path to reassure you when you need it?

The kids are all doing well. Asher has been continuing his speech therapy and is saying new things all the time. Now that he can talk it is as if we are getting to know him even better. We can learn his sense of humor and what he thinks about.

Zachariah is the same. He is letting me sleep a bit more at night which is great. He just likes to be held. He especially likes to be talked and have us walk around with him. No sitting or working on your own thing (unless he is nursing or sleeping). He continues to chunk up. He is 8 weeks old now. At 6 weeks he was at the docs and had gained 5 lbs and 3". He is now in 9 month clothing. He is super smilie when talk to him and he likes to talk back. Just a big sweetie.

Josie is still the same big character. She has decided she doesn't like tumbling and wants to go back to ballet. I thought that would happen. She got influenced by watching the Olympics, but I knew she truly liked ballet.

Dave is doing well. He is preparing for his Air Force physical fitness test next week. So he is working out a lot and also going to the chiropractor. So he should be good to go.

And me...The usual stuff. Besides being chosen out of 125 people to be in a class of 25 other people. I have been doing the research on the move and the adoption. And starting to research curriculum for Josie for homeschooling next year. I have been working on MOPS stuff yet. I have to finish the newsletter and the assignment for the marketing class in the next week. And the weather is so nice it would be a shame not to go to the park and play outside every day.

I thought Stay-at-Home moms ate bon-bons every day. Where are my bon-bons? :)

We need your help!

2008-10-08T06:40:00.000-07:00

Things are getting complicated for us.

Here is a brief summary. We have approval to bring 2 orphans into the country from the USCIS (formerly INS, now under Homeland Security). The form we filled out to do this was called an I600A. We were approved. Then The Hague Treaty was approved and Congress said that if we have former approval before the Hague we could be grandfathered in and not have to have a Hague approved agency, homestudy or approval to bring orphans into the country. Well, the CIS is granting a 1 time free extension to that approval, but that's it. And it will not cover the time our China adoption is taking (5-8 years). We would then have to fill out the new form I800A which is the Hague approval to bring orphans into the country. We would have to spend thousands of dollars (again) to have our homestudy redone to meet the requirements of the Hague. This is making us do everything again, and be Hague approved, which the Congress said we wouldn't have to be. The USCIS needs to be put in check.

The long wait will have a toll on us financially for sure. Thankfully our agency is Hague accredited so we will not have to switch agencies if we have to file the I800A (other adoption agencies may feel the financial burden of completely losing their China program which may cause closures and loss of jobs).

The challenges of us getting I800A approval will be truly impossible.

Staying with our I600 approval will help us so much. For example, if we have to switch to the I800A we will have to get clearances from every foreign country that Dave has been in, including Iraq. Do you think they have a child abuse registry yet? No. If we wait 6 months without response we then have to ask them for a letter saying that they are not going to provide us with that form. Why would they do that? What a ridiculous thing to have us do, and impossible. If someone isn't going to respond, they aren't going to respond with a letter saying they aren't going to respond. These details should have been worked out before insisting that families complete this mess.

With these uncertainties of how the Hague Treaty will affect us is making us very nervous. Two things could happen. We could lose our place in line after waiting more than 3 years and have to start over as a Hague case. Or the financial burden, or just impossibleness of what they ask of us, may stop our adoption all together.

The Hague Treaty is supposed to help and protect children, at this point, with the uncertainty and confusion, I am not so sure. In theory I guess it will help and protect, but some details need to be worked out first.

Here are the 5 things you can do to help us and thousands of other adoptive families: http://www.jcics.org/5WaystoHelp.htm

If all of this is too complicated and you don't have the time or interest to really get into all of this. Here is the abbreviated version.

1. Send these emails to these addresses:
mark@ccainstitute.org
Dear Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute,
I am writing to inform you that we fully support the Joint Council Position Paper on I-600A Renewals to Joint Council. Please take every effort possible to ensure that waiting families who began their adoptions with I600-A are allowed to continue their adoptions with I-600A. Thank you!

Name
Address
Phone #

advocate@jcics.org
Dear JCICS,
I am writing to inform you that I fully support the Joint Council Position Paper on I-600A Renewals. I commend your efforts to ensure that waiting families who began their adoptions with I600-A are allowed to continue their adoptions with I-600A. Thank you!
Name
Address
Phone #

2. Please sign the petition.
http://www.gopetition.com/online/22112.html

3. October 14th, 15th, and 16th (days before this is presented to Congress), please write your Senator and Congressman. If you think you may forget, please do it now. You can find your Senator's phone and email at http://www.senate.gov/ or your Congressman at http://www.house.gov/. Here is an example of what you could include in your email.

“I/we understand that USCIS is actively engaged in seeking a resolution to the I-600A issue. I/we respectfully ask the Senator/Congressperson to contact USCIS and express their support of efforts to find an immediate resolution to the I-600A Extension issue.”
A kind ‘thank you’.

Name
Address
Phone #"

Thanks! And please stay in prayer over our adoption process. We need all these details to fall into place. And we need the money to appear.

Crazy, TV Watching Frogs.

2008-10-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

We have crazy frogs here. About a year ago when our basement was just about finished our neighbor that worked on it called me downstairs. He pointed out an insane frog chewed through our screen and was stuck in between the screen and the window. I would think that wire would shred the insides of a frog.

Well, late yesterday afternoon I heard this weird screeching. I thought was the kids. Then I thought birds. I asked Josie what the sound was and she didn't know. So I go near the window and there is a huge frog stuck between the screen and the window. His toenails when scraping the window making the screeching sound.

I called Dave at work. I knew he had a couple errands on the way home. But I asked him to make it home as soon as he can to rescue the frog. He came home and just ripped the screen off about 1/2 way. Then he tells me there are 3 frogs in the window well.

Tonight I went for a walk around the house and there were 2 frogs watching TV from the base of the window. Coincidentally the Food Network.

Our Children Really Do Sleep Anywhere!

2008-10-05T13:42:00.001-07:00

Well, Asher refused to have his diaper changed or get dressed. I am totally fine with not getting dressed. We didn't go anywhere. And why fight that? But diaper changes are a necessity. So I changed his diaper to great protest. Which lead to a great tantrum at the top of the stairs. I went down to the basement. Then he was quiet. I go and find him here.

I did move him for the record. To his bed.

So Josie hung out with me and did some coloring. You may notice the coloring on her hands, feet, legs, etc. She starts fussing about wanting me to cook her green beans. This was after she ate a full plate of supper. I finish up the dishes and find her here.

UPDATE: Well, that was last night. Tonight Asher fell asleep on the couch and Josie smothered the poor kid with toys.

Top 10 Predictions No Matter Who Wins the Election

2008-10-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.
2. Prayer will still work.
3. The Holy Spirit will still move.
4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people.
5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.
6. There will still be singing of praise to God.
7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.
8. There will still be room at the Cross.
9. Jesus will still love you.
10. Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.

Do you have Monkey Butt?

2008-10-01T18:39:00.001-07:00

Well, there is a cure!

Apple Picking Fun

2008-09-30T15:02:00.000-07:00

We went apple picking today and had a ton of fun. They also had a fun petting zoo/fun area.

In other Hughes news our neighbors had a rare, native, poisonous snake on their front porch. So we are stuck in the house for a few days. AHhhhhh!!!

Ike & Zach

2008-09-20T16:51:00.001-07:00

Here are pictures of when Hurricane Ike hit us. Dave got pretty nervous about his trees. The grill got rolled into the table.
And mom said the last pictures of Zach weren't cute. So here he is again looking cuter. Well, he is a bit crabby. Still cute. He has been having a bad acne week. But still cute.

Keep Lil Susannah in your prayers.

2008-09-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

Read about Susannah on this blog. If you scroll down and read the first post...the day they should have had Susannah. And then work up, you will understand what this poor family has gone through. Please God, make her well enough to get out of the hospital and to the US ASAP.

Watch out for the Woolly Bears!!!

2008-09-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

Today our family went to the YMCA for Josie and Asher's swimming class. We stopped at Super WalMart for a grocery shopping adventure. Then on the way home. It was quiet in the car. So I asked Dave, "Do you ever dodge the black woolly bears that are racing across the road?" He kind of looked at me with a, "Huh?" I said, "Do you even see the black woolly bears that are crossing the road? There are a lot of them." You would think with a newborn, 2 yr old and 4 yr old I would be the distracted one and not notice them. There are a lot of them if you look!

Well, Dave played it off like he sees them all the time. I said, "Yeah right. At 60mph you only get a half a second to react because they come into view about 10 feet ahead of you." He claimed some eagle eyes that sees all of them and dodges all of them. So I started pointing them out to him. He didn't see them. Claiming the curves in the road and the car in front of us were his main concern. He said, "Yeah, what we would tell USAA (our insurance company) about dodging a woolly bear and totaling our car?" He still didn't see them. And I know he killed one.

Near home he totally swerved to dodge a small piece of leaf. That was funny. Not a woolly bear Mr. Eagle Eyes.

So I went online to find a black woolly bear to share with you what they look like. I found this most interesting article. A Woolly Bear Festival. How fun?!? Where I am from we used to have Bean Day, but this sounds so much more fun. I wish I had that Woolly Bear costume for Halloween!

Zachariah is 1 month old!

2008-09-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

The goofy smiling jokester.

The serious thinker.

Update on Zachariah

2008-09-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

1 Week Old

2 Weeks Old

3 Weeks old

Our Sweet Zachariah is already 3 weeks old. At his 2 week appt he had put on 2 lbs already. So he is growing super fast. It must be all that cream I give him. :)

He is a sweet snuggler like our Asher. He just wants to be held and nursed. He is pretty easy going.

He is such a blessing.

Our cute kids

2008-08-31T14:40:00.001-07:00

We just had Josie and Asher's birthday pictures done. They turned out super cute again.

All the gory details...

2008-08-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been pretty worn out so it has taken me time to get to the computer.

It all started Saturday night. 1am contractions started 10 minutes apart. Just enough to keep me from sleeping a wink. At 6am I go to get Dave. I told him I wanted him to cuddle me and keep track of the contractions. He put his arms around me for about 2 minutes and rolled over and went to sleep. Thanks!!! A few minutes later Josie was yelling for him. (We need to work on that!) So I was all alone, and they moved to 5 minutes apart. So after about an hour of that I was hungry, got up and ate some Cheerios. They stopped. So I was excited to get some sleep. Isn't that an odd feeling? I laid down and they were 5 minutes apart again. So I got up in utter frustration and showered. They stopped. So if I laid down they started if I got up they stopped. Not exactly conducive to sleep.

I had contractions all day Saturday, a couple an hour. Just enough to keep me awake through the day. Sunday night I slept 11pm-4am, then they started 10 minutes apart again. I got up and showered and they stopped. AhhhhHHH!HH!HH!!!!!!!!!! So I was up for the day. I did get an hour nap in that morning while Dave watched the kids and we all skipped church. I continued to have contractions all day. Sunday night I was up to the bathroom about 5 times between when I laid down and about 1am when contractions were about 5 minutes apart. At 2:30 they started to be 2-3 minutes apart. I showered and had contractions the whole time. I ate a snack. They continued. I took a bath and they continued. So I couldn't get them to stop. I remember laying in the tub and yelling "HELP! Dave!!! HElP!!!" Nothing. I was so tired. And so in labor I was sure I was going to deliver all alone in the tub and at that point I had no qualms about it.

I finally got out of the bath and told Dave we needed to go. He asked me questions like, "What about the kids?" "What about calling Christen?" I figured he would know that he had to take care of all of this. My frustration was at an all time high. I just wanted to go.

So I just sat in the car. I remember just being super hot and wanted the keys. Dave was inside what seemed to be forever. Finally the kids were in the car and we took off. Dave dropped me off at the hospital ER entrance and brought the kids to our friend's David and Christen's house. I was miserable.

They put me in a room and it took about 2 hours for them to come back to me. I was thirsty. Finally they came in. Then were going to help me to the bathroom. As I got to the doorway of the bathroom a really strong contraction came on and a held the doorway. She said that they would check me before helping me into my gown. I was only 3-4 cm and 80%. I was pretty disappointed. Dave got there shortly after.

At about 6:30 I got a doula. She was off at 7am. So about 8:45 we got Lisa and she was awesome the entire time. I have had a dream of a normal, textbook labor that I could do naturally, but started to lose hope already. Lisa was great in keeping me moving and trying new positions and getting the baby to move down and dialate me. At about 11:30 am they checked me and I was 4-5cm and "very thin". The nurse said that I had to move the baby to the center since he was on the right not pressing down evenly. So I laid on my side and he moved over. Things were hard. I was tired. They wouldn't let me eat. I was just so frustrated and worn out. I asked for an epidural. Lisa had been at lunch and I think she was disappointed for a while. She worked so hard with me. Later she told me she understood because I was so tired. It took over 2 hours for the anesthesiologist to get there. I was getting even more mad and frustrated. I had to have at least 2 people press on my lower stomach and back at the same time with each contraction. It was an extreme belt of pain around me. Like the back labor I had with the other 2, but all around me.

I finally got the epidural. People never talk about how much that hurts, but it burns to get it. I had contractions during it. And when the actual epidural went in I felt shooting pains down my left leg and my leg started kicking out. They laid me down and it took about 5 minutes to really work. It made my legs feel like they were 500 lbs each. And then the pain went away. I was then pretty happy. Just super starving. I can't believe they make a woman work so hard with nothing to energize her. I got a popsicle and that was it.

About 5pm they checked me and I was 8cm and completely effaced. I started feeling the contractions completely again. As if I didn't have the epidural at all. So I called for the doc right away. It took about 45 minutes for him to come. I started feeling a lot of pressure. Lisa said don't say anything about pressure or he won't give me a redose. Finally I got it and had relief. I was still starving since it had been 24 hours since I ate.

About an hour later they checked me and I was ready to go. I did one practice push and she said it was perfect. One more push the baby was through the birth canal. And then we waited about 30 minutes for the doc and tech to be ready. One more small push, the doc told me to just do a small one. I looked in the mirror and was crowning already. I was pretty shocked. He told me not to push, but my body with the intense contractions was slowly pushing him out on it's own. I just saw his head come slowly out. They suctioned him out and then said, "Just a super small "grunt" push." I did and he was out. Dave said, "It's a boy!"

Dave had been 'down there' the entire time and had a sour look on his face. They had the baby down on the bed and all I could see was an occassionally red leg pop up. It had been Dave's job to keep me from tearing and he knew that I did so he felt bad. When I was thinking something bad or super disgusting happened. I ended up with a second degree tear.

Dave ran to Subway for me. Thanks!! I ate a whole footlong which I don't think I have ever done. He kept saying, "If you need help with that..." You have got to be kidding me!!

My nurse was supposed to be off at 7pm. And said she could stay until 11pm if they needed her. Zachariah was born at 7:16pm. She stayed at least until 10:15. She tried to get my epidural out but it bothered me when she touched it gently. So she took out my heparin lock. And then I never saw her. She was a great nurse.

So I sat there and nursed and nursed and nursed. I was supposed to shower. I couldn't move my legs yet. My butt started to hurt. Can you imagine sitting in the same position for 5 hours? Well, that's what happened. Not only the stiches, my butt muscles hurt from not moving.

I couldn't put him down because I couldn't twist on my bottom to put him in the bassinet. I kept bonking him on the side. So we were stuck. At 12:30 I called for help. I got my ice pack changed. I got Motrin. And washed up a bit. Things get pretty messy when you have no bladder control and bleeding a lot after 5 hours. Pretty much inhumane. Then she started actually checking on me. At 3am I showered and that felt so good. I moved to my recovery room. I still had problems with my left leg being numb. But I made it.

The nurse in the recovery room spoke so loudly. She went over all this discharge papers and stuff. It was ridiculous. I was just so tired. I didn't care.

At 4:30 I was hungry and Zachariah couldn't get enough milk. So I got a turkey sandwich. I also couldn't get enough to drink. It was crazy. The nurses aide probably thought I was doing something with the ice water. At 6am people started coming in and doing the checks and all. So no sleep again.

Through the morning I had tons of docs come in. Then it was breakfast time. That was actually nice to just make a call and have them bring whatever food I wanted. But I really just wanted to sleep.

Zachariah continued to nurse and nurse and nurse. He just wanted to be held. I was worned that if I dozed I had to put him in the bassinet. He didn't want the bassinet. He wanted me. So no sleep during that nurses shift. The kids came later with their "Big Sister" and "Big Brother" shirts on. And they had gone to Build A Bear and made a big dog and little dog for Zachariah. I changed Zachariah into his "Little Brother" shirt and got the pictures.

We gave Zachariah his first bath and he peed in both of our faces. I had called the nursery for a tub or something and they said that they already bathed him. I said, "No, he hasn't been away from me. You didn't have him in the nursery." I wouldn't let him leave me.

That night at 6pm the hospital had a special dinner for me and Dave. Asher had fallen asleep, Josie was overly tired. So we ate our "romantic" dinner like that. It was pretty not bad for hospital food. I had Chicken Cordon Bleu and Dave had Coconut Crusted Talapia.

They headed out right after that.

Zachariah and I watched the Olympics with Phelps numerous record breaking, gold medal performances. Then nighttime. He nursed all night long. No sleep for mama again. He was just really confused on day and night. So about 6am I fell asleep with him in my arms. I woke up at 7:30 with someone coming into the room. No sleeping for mama rule, it really sucks.

The checks and etc started for us then. And then Zachariah had to get a shot, PKU test and hearing test. I just went back to the nursery without asking. There were 14 screaming babies and 1 Nurse Practictioner checking them out. It broke my heart. I said to one little girl, "It's OK..." And the NP asked my nurse to bring me to the other side of the desks. It was heartbreaking. I couldn't believe other mothers let their children go without them. He passed his hearing test and had the other test and shot. And then they checked him over again.

We got back to the room and I called Dave. I just wanted out. It was now Wed and I had gone too many days with no sleep. They eventually got there and I was out about noon.

Zachariah continues to be a incredible, amazing little boy. He just wants to be held and nurse. Easy enough.

Even though things were rough from the time Dave left for Iraq right after I found out I was pregnant...6 months with 2 toddlers all alone. I swore I didn't want to be pregnant again. But holding him makes me kind of sad to think this may be the last newborn. And it makes me sad that I will miss these days with our China born baby.

It's Zachariah!

2008-08-13T15:54:00.001-07:00

The Big Question: When?

2008-08-06T09:34:00.001-07:00

So I wait. And I wait. I have contractions. The baby moves, kicks, elbows, punches, dances, etc. And I wait.

I made it through last night's severe thunderstorm. Just a few contractions, but it really woke the kid up and there was some crazy dancing going on well after the storm. So much so I couldn't sleep. My poor stomach was contorted in every possible shape imaginable.

After midnight tonight comes another thunderstorm through tomorrow morning so that is the next big challenge.

So I wait.

When will Lil Cutie make his/her grand entrance?
Friday night (8th) is "Sneak a zuchini onto your neighbor's porch night"
The 13th is "National Underwear Day". Maybe that means I won't be wearing any that day due to being in labor.
And the coveted Aug 15th is "National Relaxation Day", sounds like a nice day to give birth on. Maybe it won't hurt as badly.

Updates on all of us

2008-07-31T17:12:00.001-07:00

Asher had his speech re-evaluated and I just got my copy in the mail. It says he has Expressive Language Disorder. He is at a 10 month old's level. That made me pretty sad to hear that. Today I got a call from the therapist's office and I have to get a new referral from the docs to get the insurance to pay for it. Thankfully I got a return phone call from another doc a couple hours later and explained the situation and he said he would resubmit it.

Josie had her bladder test again. She was a Grade 2 reflux last year and now is a Grade 1. So it is getting better. But there is no explanation as to why she has nonstop UTIs. I am working with her in hygiene. But other than that I will call the docs and see what they have to say and push forward with seeing a Pediatric Urologist.

I went to the docs today. I am 38 weeks pregnant now. He "checked" me (after I asked the nurse to give the kids a tour), and I am 2cm and 50%. So things are moving along. I still hope to make it to Aug 15th and a part of me will be disappointed if I don't. So we talked about things we will do to make me hit Aug 15th, if I am still pregnant the day or so before.

Dave is doing well. He is working out alot and watching what he eats. He is about to enroll in another Master's class.

No new adoption news. There are rumors that the CCAA is closing during the Olympics. Then there are rumors that that will stay open. So...we continue to wait. I did find this touching article about Steve Curtis Chapman and the recent loss of his adopted daughter. The comments below are interesting too.

Challenges & Celebrations while 9 Months Pregnant

2008-07-28T17:00:00.000-07:00

Challenges

-trying to fit into a single bathroom stall when the door swings towards the toilet.

-trying to do this while holding Asher.

-getting through nearly nightly thunderstorms with constant contractions. Then being able to chase 2 kiddos the next day.

-ankles so swollen they hurt to bend.

-boy names.

-sore back muscles.

Celebrations

-ice cream

-foot rubs by the world's best foot rubber my wonderful husband.

-having the chiropractor put my hips back into joint after the baby dropped.

-having Josie and Asher kiss, hug, and tell my stomach "I love you Lil Cutie".

-feeling the baby move.

-hearing the baby's heartbeat.

-seeing Dave smile when he rubs my "basket" (our word for my huge stomach).

-bubble baths.

Family Picture Adventures

2008-07-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

Well, family pictures came again. We try to get photos of me big and huge. So we had a family picture planned today, and just by chance got some cute sailor outfits for the kids. I had it all planned. I found near matching dresses for me and Josie. Then I figure the boys will just wear white polos and tan shorts. Well, I started to get the clothing together about 11am for 12:45 pictures. I knew our dresses needed to be ironed. Come to find out Asher's tan shorts were totally dirty. So I rushed them to the washer, then the dryer....alone. In our hurry out the door we forgot them. So I was all upset. I plan so much for pictures because I am sentimental and want it to be just right. So the challenge was getting a picture of Asher without his shorts in the picture. This is the one we chose.

Then we hurried and got the kids in their sailor outfits. And I was totally thinking this was something on the side. But it was the hit. Both kids tried on their outfits, but the hat I didn't try on. I figured it was either too big, too small or he wouldn't keep it on. But he put it on and he saw himself and just beamed. Showed everyone his hat. Here are a couple of the best ones:

Aren't they just the cutest?

Before these sailor shots the photographer said she was going to get a "Happy Helper". Two young guys came and Josie just went blank. Almost like she had a mental condition. So I pulled her to the side and she said she didn't like the guy. So I just came out and said, "She doesn't like you." So the lady switched and the guy took the pictures and we got smiles. Phew! I got nervous because Asher was all lit up and Josie wouldn't smile.

And tonight Dave and I had our first date night in 2 years. What happened 2 years ago. Well, I was hugely pregnant with Asher. Then the in between years I never feel safe leaving a nursling with anyone.

I had surprised Dave and wrote a note on the back of his Anniversary card that I had this date night set up. It was to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse...his favorite. I even set up the childcare well in advance. So we had a great meal. Dave claimed their salad was the best he has ever had. Then we spent an hour or 2 at my friends house, the Parkers, to talk about stuff. So that was nice to talk with them.

What a good day.

Let the chaos begin!

2008-07-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

Things are heading towards chaos. At least for me. I am miserable due to the baby dropping about 2 weeks ago. I think my hips are dislocated.

Asher will start speech therapy this week. Also Dave is gone all week. He returns on Saturday. The following Tuesday Josie has her big bladder test.

So, please keep me in your prayers in hopes that Lil Cutie stays put. At least this next week. We actually will have to get Dave a cell phone this weekend so I can get in touch with him if the baby comes.

We also are doing family pictures this weekend. And pictures of the kids. I got the cutest sailor outfits for them.

I have tons of projects to do with MOPS. I love doing it, I just wish I had a big block of time without my cute little distractions. With Dave leaving that isn't looking like it will happen. I do hope to get it all done before the baby.

Once the baby comes Dave hopes to be in town and take a week off. He has been selected as a team member for the KC-X Source Selection team. If you keep up on current events Airbus, a European country, won the bid to produce the next tanker (air refueling plane). Well, Boeing protested for security reasons (many Europeans don't seem to be friendly to the US war efforts), and the billions of dollars heading out of the US. So to some extent the process is reopening and Dave will be part of solving the issue. What does this all mean to me? Well I am proud of him of course. It is a high profile opportunity. But, he will be gone alot. Again. So a majority of this year he will be gone.

Josie is upset about him being gone just this next week. She tells him often that she doesn't want him to go away for his job anymore. They have a very sweet relationship. I love seeing them jump all over each other and take breaks to hug and kiss.

I just read this article and it is heartbreaking to think of all the children wanting families.

Here are some pictures from our trip to Branson and Silver Dollar City.

Getting Busy!

2008-07-13T17:17:00.000-07:00

We went on a long trip to the Omaha area for a family reunion and to see old friends, and stopped through Branson for 5 days as well. I just wanted time with Dave and the kids and not worry about stuff. That aspect of the trip was great!

Tuesday night I was miserable with contractions. Probably because of a thunderstorm. But I ended up in Labor & Delivery for 6 hours to be monitored. They called it Uterine Irritability. But that is such a calm sounding diagnosis. It was back to back, nonstop contractions across my lower abdomen. Of course they hook up the monitor at the top of my stomach and just caught a couple regular contractions. So, they watched me a few more hours just because I am a third timer, and sent me home.

Dave has been getting caught up on yardwork. And we discovered after we got home from Branson that the yard guy hacked up our gardens. We are both pretty upset about it. Many bushes and perrenials are 1/2 gone. We will cut down all the perrenials late this fall, and they will bounce back fine next year. But if you cut away a 1/2 of a bush, that is shaping it. So they are formal shaped, when we have an informal garden. Hopefully they look good next year as we may be moving. But this year is done. I am so disappointed.

Josie continues to have bladder issues. We will get a referral to a pediatric urologist this next week. I hope it is just a simple fix. She has nonstop UTIs. So either she is in pain or on medicine.

Asher is doing well. I am starting to think that I will try to bring him to a Speech Pathologist because he isn't making huge strides.

The world according to Josie.

2008-06-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

At swimming class last week Josie sat next to a black woman who was dressing right after swimming while Josie was getting her swimsuit on for class. She said pretty loudly, "Mommy, our baby is going to have brown skin like that lady." I looked at who she was pointing at and the lady was smiling. I said, "Oh, probably not. Daddy's skin is light like mine. The baby will have skin like me or daddy. But that is a very nice skin color."

So I told Dave about this a day or so after he got home. Dave said, "Better not be a brown baby!" I said, "Yeah, and due in October. " HA!!! (Dave was in Iraq Dec-June)

That same night out of the blue Josie said, "Mom, how does God make plants grow?" I said, "He uses water and light and creates a miracle." She paused for about 10 seconds, I could tell the gears were turning. Then said, "Mommy, is He Super God?" "Yes, Josie He is Super God."

He's home!

2008-06-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos from when we met Dave at the airport.

He's on his way!

2008-06-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

Dave was stuck for almost 24 hours in Cologne, Germany. A plane part had broken. They hung out for a couple hours to see if it could be fixed, but then they were put up at a hotel. He got some refreshing sleep and good breakfast and saw a beautiful cathedral. He also commented on how much sand he got out of his ears. With all the sandstorms I guess a ton get caught in the ears. So hopefully he got rid of all his grossness in Germany.

So, Josie was all fussy last night. One of the many benefits of co-sleeping is still parenting while you are sleeping. She was grunting, groaning and tossing about. I felt her cheeks and they were very hot. So I asked her how she was and she said her head hurt. So I got her some Motrin and about an hour later she was cooler. She said her ears hurt this morning with the second dose so I got her in right away. She just finished antibiotics a week ago. Well, her ears are fine. She does have another UTI. In Mid-July she has a follow up to her bladder test of last year and I bet they will have her do it again. I fear she may need surgery. I never did take her temp at home with no medications, but with both Motrin and Tylenol it was 100.3 at the doctor's office. She says it doesn't hurt when she goes to the bathroom, but maybe it has hurt all her life. She still complains of a headache.

Asher also is fussy with 4 eye teeth coming in. It is usually a huge battle to get medicine in him. But before we left for Wally World this morning he took it right down. I just talked to him about why he was upset and asked if his teeth hurt in his mouth. I told him the medicine would help him feel better. He reached for it and did it "Big Boy Style" as we call it. Victory for Mama!

So we got home and Dave's boss's exec had left me a message with an update of Dave's whereabouts. He is on the plane from Cologne and will arrive in Baltimore at 5:55am. Then is scheduled to leave at 9:30 and gets into St. Louis at 2:05. That is better than the 8:35pm that we last heard about.

Dave did say that they had a couple hours layover in Ireland. The Air Force guys have a way of having their planes break in cool places so hopefully all goes well there. He thought that the layover may be able to be cut down, but I won't count on it. If he can get home earlier that would be great. If not, we will so be ready at 2:05.

The kids get their haircut at 11am. Then we will have lunch somewhere. And then off to the airport. I am so excited. This has been just too long for him to be away from us.

32 weeks & Outta Kuwait

2008-06-17T12:43:00.001-07:00

I am 32 weeks pregnant this week. I measured 34 weeks at the docs today. Oh well.... All is well otherwise. The heartrate was a bit lower around 137 bpm. But then the doc pushed on my stomach and woke the poor kiddo up and it jumped to the 180's.

And Dave will be leaving Kuwait tomorrow. It will actually be in the middle of the night our time. But he will shortly be on his way home. He is currently scheduled to be home late Friday night, but he will try to get an earlier flight.

Yeah!

2008-06-15T19:24:00.000-07:00

Dave made his way out of Iraq and is resting in Kuwait. He leaves there on Wed and should be home by Friday night. Yeah!

My sister Danielle also had her baby girl last night. Danika was 7lbs 7oz. My sister is doing well.

Here is a recent picture of Josie and Asher:

Updates on Everything

2008-06-09T12:09:00.001-07:00

Dave is free to leave Iraq! Thank You Lord!!! He tried to leave several times today and there is a big windstorm that is blowing sand around (I guess that is a sandstorm). There are just flights a couple times a week, so please be in prayer that he can still get out this week. He is supposed to head to Kuwait by helicoptor and then leave there on the 18th. Hopefully he will be hope late the 18th or early the 19th. We are so ready. We have a big plan for his arrival at the airport.

At a recent doctors appt I was 27.5 weeks pregnant and measured 32. Well, I have evened out. I had a sizing ultrasound this morning and at 30.5 weeks I measured 31 weeks 5 days. So thank goodness it was a growth spurt. Here are some new pictures.

We had a hard time getting a picture of the face. As usual the arms and hands up in the face. See the fingers in the mouth?

Crabby baby. We kept pushing on him/her to try to get a good picture of his/her face.

Finally the hands are down.

But not for long. How cute!

And the baby continues to dance. The baby is already head down. Maybe that is for good, maybe not. But we would push on him and he would dance all over, but not move his/her hands. Lil Stinker!

I have had the same ultrasound tech for 4 appts. He gives me so many pictures. These 3D pictures weren't even in the plan. It took him about 3 minutes to do all the sizing. Then we spent about 15 minutes trying to get the picture of the face. He even said if we would like to find out the sex of the baby when Dave comes home we can just give him a call and he will fit us in. That won't happen mama.

Other than that...The kids are good. Asher has gone from a toddler to a boy. Gosh they are so different than girls. It is all about running, jumping, vrooming, just being crazy. But is the same sweetie wanting kisses and hugs all the time.

Josie is just a character. She has the best sense of humor. And she is more anxious about daddy being gone. I don't think Asher realizes he is coming home. We talk about him all the time and look forward to an upcoming trip with daddy. And seeing Kung Fu Panda.

As far as the adoption goes, things still creep along. Referrals are coming out today for June. It looks like a whole whopping 10 days will be coming out. Surprising with the earthquake. But you can see some babies at this website. I have a wild idea that our China born baby will be born 8/15/10, just to keep things in line. Josie and Asher have a 8/15 birthday and I am due 8/15. I was nervous for the last couple weeks I wouldn't hit 8/15 but I think it is possible now that I have evened out. So we have to keep the 8/15 every 2 years pattern right? That would mean travel in the summer of 2011.

Please be in prayer that Dave can get out of Iraq ASAP.

Here's Lil Cutie!

2008-05-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

Here are more pictures of Lil Cutie at 26.5 weeks. He/She is just Super Chillin' with hands behind the neck - just relaxin'. The top 2 were actually done after the other 3. We pushed on my belly trying to get him/her to move and he/she tucked her head into his/her chest.

Lil Cutie looks just like Asher. Can't wait to give birth!!!

Welcome to our new blog!

2008-05-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

Our former blog was a China Adoption theme. And since it may take a while and we are sharing about Tator Tot's arrival later this summer, then we wanted to incorporate everything going on.

And we are adding an air of fun! How fun are potatoes? Well, you may think not very, but they are Mrs. Tatos favorite food.